Today, my pregnant wife broke down in tears over the fact that since moving to Brazil for my job, we don't have regular access to macaroni and cheese. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my evening was shot to hell when I found my pregnant wife on the floor, sobbing because we'd run out of cheese sticks. FML
Today, my pregnant wife and I got separated while out shopping. She ended up having meltdown and crying so hard the manager had to call me over the PA. FML
Today, I got to experience the horror of my wife's pregnancy. She woke me up abruptly at 5 am by throwing up all over me due to her terrible morning sickness, then ate pickles covered in mayonnaise, and later dropped to the floor sobbing when I told her we were out of dog food. FML
Today, I sent my boyfriend to the store to get groceries while I was at work. Instead of what I listed, he came back with hot pockets, ice cream and beer. I'm lactose intolerant and pregnant. FML
Today, my mother-in-law invited herself to my house to cook lunch. I'm postpartum, depressed, and nursing a two-week old. She fed me four small shrimp and a handful of macaroni. This is what I'll be eating for a month. FML
Today, my wife is experiencing feral pregnancy cravings. She is craving some sort of cookie that she used to eat as a child. That particular cookie company went out of business 20 years ago, so my wife is growling at me like I was personally responsible for them shutting down. FML
Today, my wife called me at work, crying, because she shat her pants. I'd feel more sympathy if she ever ate fruit, or vegetables, or anything other than sugar and carbs, or took the prescription fiber supplements her doctor prescribed. FML
Today, I caught my pregnant wife trying to suck milk from her breasts. FML
Today, my wife got back from two months visiting her unwell mother in Australia. Her mother is a major feeder, so I was trying to be tactful about my wife’s weight gain. Our kids, not so much. They ran to her in the airport and asked her if she was pregnant again because she’s "soooooo big." FML
Today, my very pregnant wife woke up in bed, grabbing her stomach and writhing in pain. Worried that the baby might be in distress, I asked her what was wrong. She gasped then let out what can only be described as a river of hot liquid shit all over herself and my legs. We both cried. FML
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Top comments
nerobluerose 10
Buy that poor woman some mac-n-cheese.
porkpiehat 8
Holy crap, mail order that girl some mac n' cheese
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Comments (218)
FlyingPie 17
That would definitely get old. I imagine there would be something similar you can buy or make at home there though. I've been to São Paulo a few times - It's a cool city, except perhaps for the traffic and the smog. But in a city like that, you have many things near you. I hope the culture shock isn't too much for you two to bear. Brazil does have its own addiction that tastes somewhat similar to mac & cheese: Pão de queijo, little balls of cheese bread. They are pretty good to snack on. :) Perhaps a suggestion: For a romantic getaway, when you can, go to Campos do Jordão. It's a really charming city!
chippa 24
Well, she's probably more annoyed with the symptoms of her pregnancy than you are. It will all be worth it! Congratulations.
kglo 7
Because lack of Mac and Cheese is a serious issue. I would cry too
allybabyyy15 1
Cut the girl some slack, she's pregnant!
technochik3 12
Dude, she's pregnant. Let her be.
Samandra 4
Cravings!
MsCowsiecow 6
Honestly, I think there was more to it.
amoyer0418 1
F mac and cheese! You got the original fogo de chao!
monique8axel 6
It's a serious issue!!
prettyinpink03 11
It's probably not just the Mac and Cheese. Remember constantly that she sacrificed for you to move as well. She's away from what she knew and loved. She's also pregnant. Find her some Mac. It does exist everywhere.