Today, my pregnant wife broke down in tears over the fact that since moving to Brazil for my job, we don't have regular access to macaroni and cheese. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my evening was shot to hell when I found my pregnant wife on the floor, sobbing because we'd run out of cheese sticks. FML
Today, my pregnant wife and I got separated while out shopping. She ended up having meltdown and crying so hard the manager had to call me over the PA. FML
Today, I got to experience the horror of my wife's pregnancy. She woke me up abruptly at 5 am by throwing up all over me due to her terrible morning sickness, then ate pickles covered in mayonnaise, and later dropped to the floor sobbing when I told her we were out of dog food. FML
Today, I sent my boyfriend to the store to get groceries while I was at work. Instead of what I listed, he came back with hot pockets, ice cream and beer. I'm lactose intolerant and pregnant. FML
Today, my mother-in-law invited herself to my house to cook lunch. I'm postpartum, depressed, and nursing a two-week old. She fed me four small shrimp and a handful of macaroni. This is what I'll be eating for a month. FML
Today, my wife is experiencing feral pregnancy cravings. She is craving some sort of cookie that she used to eat as a child. That particular cookie company went out of business 20 years ago, so my wife is growling at me like I was personally responsible for them shutting down. FML
Today, my wife called me at work, crying, because she shat her pants. I'd feel more sympathy if she ever ate fruit, or vegetables, or anything other than sugar and carbs, or took the prescription fiber supplements her doctor prescribed. FML
Today, I caught my pregnant wife trying to suck milk from her breasts. FML
Today, my wife got back from two months visiting her unwell mother in Australia. Her mother is a major feeder, so I was trying to be tactful about my wife’s weight gain. Our kids, not so much. They ran to her in the airport and asked her if she was pregnant again because she’s "soooooo big." FML
Today, my very pregnant wife woke up in bed, grabbing her stomach and writhing in pain. Worried that the baby might be in distress, I asked her what was wrong. She gasped then let out what can only be described as a river of hot liquid shit all over herself and my legs. We both cried. FML
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Top comments
nerobluerose 10
Buy that poor woman some mac-n-cheese.
porkpiehat 8
Holy crap, mail order that girl some mac n' cheese
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Comments (218)
AznSamoan52 10
I'd cry too if didn't have access to mac n cheese.
sweethang26 7
Bro, I don't blame her, mac n cheese is angelic:)
sandrocampa 2
I'm sure that's just some pregnant mood swing
Neopopulas 9
You know you can MAKE mac and cheese right? And its usually a lot better than the shit you buy.. Can you make spaghetti? Then you can make Mac and Cheese (though gods above i don't know why you would want to.. pregnant women aside)
sgo26 2
She's pregnant! She's probably hormonal and home sick!
MolesterStallone 13
Bring lots of macaroni and cheese to brazil or you will have lots of problems!
chinagirl3343 8
Get on amazon and have a big box shipped! She will love you for that.
nco1414 7
*****-mones.
klx125cross 9
Brace yourself... It gets worse... Trust me
kimg0885 23
Ok everyone we must organize a Mac-n-cheese charity for op. we must send his pregnant wife some Mac every week. Maybe all of Brazil, they don't know what they are missing!
kimg0885 23
After I posted this I had this thought of op and his wife getting on the plane to brazil, both of their suitcases/ carry- ons filled to the brim with Mac- n- cheese. Just Mac-n-cheese.