Today, my plan to prank my husband backfired when I forgot about the "pop-its" I left under the toilet seat and set them off. It not only scared the shit out of me, it also woke up my 2 month-old and my grumpy husband. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I farted so loudly in bed and I woke up my husband. Startled, he thought that someone was entered in our room and fired a shot. FML
Today, I wanted to prank my husband and filled a kitchen cabinet with tennis balls. Not sure what was funnier, seeing his reaction when all the balls fell out, or the fact that before he got home, I forgot that I had placed the balls there and opened the cabinet myself. Twice. FML
Today, my husband thought it'd be funny to trigger the alarm in the house while I was sleeping. Shocked, I ran outside naked. FML
Today, I took a shit of biblical proportions. I flushed and opened a window, but my pregnant wife went in straight after me. Her morning sickness kicked in and she quickly ran out, vomit dripping from her mouth. She's pissed and thinks I planned the whole thing as a prank. FML
Today, my husband thought it would be funny to scare me by maniacally zooming in and out of traffic while we were on his motorcycle. His mood turned to anger when I nervously admitted to having voided my bowels. FML
Today, after watching Insidious, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to scare me while I was on the toilet. I was in mid-piss when he jumped out at me, and I ran screaming and peeing down the hall. FML
Today, my husband fell asleep on my shoulder. He then ripped a nasty fart. I exhaled slowly but apparently loud enough that it woke up my husband who promptly screamed directly in my ear, before screaming a second time when he smelled the fart as well. The worst part is that also he scared my cat off my lap. FML
Today, I farted so loudly in my sleep that it woke myself, my husband, and our cat. The cat let me know he was startled by clawing and biting the perceived threat, my bum. FML
Today, I bought some party poppers to surprise my roommate to celebrate her recent promotion. I pulled one the strings too early, in the lobby of our building. A hundred tiny paper stars rained down while my neighbor, who had just spilled her grocery bag out of fright as she entered the building, yelled at me like I was a lunatic. FML
Today, I woke up to my husband's face. That'd be nice if he hadn't turned his eyelids inside out, waiting to scare me. I was scared alright. So scared that I pissed myself and broke my side table falling out of bed. FML
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Top comments
WCARlover 35
Well if they scared the shit out of you I guess it's a good thing they were on the toilet!
InnocenceBlue 38
Your username says it all.
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Comments (39)
JadynHunter 19
Pop goes the wife
thatweirdasian 22
Lol, imagine how even grumpier he'd be if he got up in the middle of the night and set them off. *pats your back* Better luck next time, OP! :)
happypenguins 24
I tried to think of a witty comment but I couldn't
WCARlover 35
Well if they scared the shit out of you I guess it's a good thing they were on the toilet!
InnocenceBlue 38
Your username says it all.
Tripartita 45
Depending on how much those pop-its sounded like gunfire, you might be able to pass off the sounds as you fending off a few toilet gators and sending them back to the sewers.
thefmlman2011 37
hahaha
Mathalamus 25
why do you prank your husband, anyway?
deathstroke990 22
because some people like to not be boring
URBeingLied2 23
Because some people just want to watch the world burn Mr. Thalamus.
Mathalamus 25
Mr... Thalamus. that's a new one. anyway, i despise pranks, because they are completely unnecessary. if you want some good time fun, there's a million other, better, ways. i also had far too many cruel pranks plated on me to ever allow pranks again.
ilanie04 16
Its for fun. and i didn't mean to like your comment
SailorSolaris 43
Oh come on! A good prank can make everyone, even the victim, laugh! I love a good prank, as long as it doesn't go overboard. Sorry OP, but YDI this time.
janderson416 16
Hope that cleared out your system for awhile
lulinator 40
Maybe I'm in the minority, but I do not get today's obsession with pranking your significant other at all. Especially the ones that video it.
anlong93 9
It kinda spices things up, if you're not one of those douche bags who likes to do dangerous ones
Bibliovore 26
I don't get it, either, but it's not just today's generation. A friend of mine's mother -- I think she's now in her 60s -- once filled a bucket with ice water so she could stand on the toilet and dump it over the top of the shower onto her husband while he was washing his hair. She had the foresight to realize she'd probably get wet in this process, so she stripped naked before climbing onto the toilet. However, the toilet lid broke, and it was she who got doused with the ice water as her foot went into the toilet. Her ankle was sprained in the process, and swelled to the point that she couldn't get her foot out. They had to call the paramedics, who had to break the toilet to get her out. All of which is why their family still tells the story, decades later. At least she can laugh about it at this point!
pjsr 33
Since you were sitting on the toilet, mission accomplished.
freddygasman 18
Not really, she missed the target. At best, she can say she was firing for effect.