Today, my period has given to me 4 giant zits, 3 screaming shits, 2 stomach ulcers, and a fever blister on my lips. A few days until Christmas and the gifts keep coming. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I received the gifts of my period, diarrhea, severe dizziness and double vision, and an ant infestation in my home. These were followed by the glaring absence of any gifts from my husband. Happy 40th to me. FML
Today, I have a UTI that spread to my kidneys, a yeast infection, and a herpes outbreak. Oh, and my period came this morning. FML
Today, for the first time in years, my period is early. I woke up at 5 a.m. with the worst cramps I've ever had in my life. Medicine isn't helping. It's literally so bad I feel like I want to throw up. It's fucking Christmas but hey, it wouldn't be 2022 if my garbage pile of a body wasn't ruining something for me. FML
Today, I woke up bleeding from every orifice in my body. I've got a nose bleed from my medication, my gums bled when I brushed my teeth, I'm on my period, and I have hemorrhoids. FML
Today, I have both a cold and a period. Tomorrow, I will have a cold, my period and my wisdom teeth taken out. FML
Today, I woke up with my period. At least I'm getting into the Christmas spirit with red and green shorts, right? FML
Today, it's 3 days before Christmas and my first day of holidays. Today is also the first day I have been sick all year. Hello tonsillitis, goodbye fun. FML
Today, I have the flu, food poisoning, and I'm on my period. I have enough liquids pouring out of me from various holes to satisfy a sewer. FML
Today, I found out I have a yeast infection, a bladder infection, and a urinary tract infection all at the same time. Oh, and I also have the flu. FML
Today, I found out that instead of having four wisdom teeth, I have eight. They all have to be removed as soon as possible, which happens to be over the Christmas break. I get to spend my whole vacation in excruciating pain and a swollen face to boot. FML
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Top comments
CMYKorBust 7
...and a partridge in a pear tree ?
breedles 28
I mean, that's awful, obviously, but damn. This was really cleverly written, OP
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Comments (52)
CMYKorBust 7
...and a partridge in a pear tree ?
TheSacredRatty 18
It's the fever blister on her lips
OysterPearls 33
Am I the only one who started singing this in my head to the tune of that song?
sweetpotato301 7
Pretty sure that's what OP was going for
Deathtoallthem 18
Well that sounds like a bloody catastrophe
breedles 28
I mean, that's awful, obviously, but damn. This was really cleverly written, OP
Cali 57
There's a song in here somewhere...
ApplePie1994 27
Girl, you're everywhere! :P flaunting that FML staff badge to all potential suitors.
BeautyQueenEtna 0
hi
Cali 57
I just really dug this FML. Hi!
PraesensAbsens 0
Definitely digging it with you. :D
drayloon 50
"On the fourth day of mensuration, my period gave to me..."
archetypelarry 13
I FEEL THIS! While...no I haven't had nearly all of your problems, I have had intense *****, thrown up once, and been shaky and felt like the world was coming to an end. I hope things get better for you, stay strong!
PrincessAmburr 8
I honestly thought I was the only girl that went through this. I thought my period was just bitchier than the rest lol
ChiefKoala 30
Nahh...Mine are gods awful. I've vomited and passed out from mine. I get light headed, and it rotates from ***** to constipation, and sometimes within the same period.
teaspoon04 15
Dude, exactly! Don't forget to add a migraine and ridiculously heavy flow and insomnia.
dblogic 19
Strangely, I too take comfort in seeing that I'm not the only one with the world's worst period. I don't get the PMS psychosis that can be common but the physical symptoms are ******* awful & make you wish you were dead....zits galore & diarrhea a week before Aunt Flo arrives, bloating up like a balloon, ultra-sized tampons, cramps so bad that you feel like you've been kicked in the lower abdomen by every player on the world's best soccer team for 3 days, gobbling ibuprofen like they're tic tacs, intense back pain, headaches, weakness & insomnia until the meds kick in but waking up in agony when they wear off. And guys wonder why we get a little moody!? I know, I know, TMI, sorry!
maharb01 17
your rhymes have made me want to go and watch how the Grinch sole Christmas!
RichardPencil 32
Five Golden showers?
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
She already mentioned having the ***** or there'd be a golden rings joke in there.
LyricaSilvan 30
Kudos for turning your misery into a clever parody. You should sell that to Weird Al.
blackbarby81 4
Honestly never heard of period giving cold sores. Might want to check for heroes or other issues
coolmike699 26
That's an epic typo.
cootiequeen4444 11
one could say it's 'super'
PraesensAbsens 0
It is not because of the period per se. Periods do tend to weaken people and that's when those sores come out. :) Anyway. No need to check for herpes. Cause the sores are caused by the herpes virus. Many of us carry it, without knowing it or having issues from it. :D
Bearsmomma 30
Stress can weaken the immune system as well, causing the virus to show its ugly face. Clearly, OP is experiencing a stressful time.
ShotaSammy 17
Go on birth control to level out your hormones? And depending on the type, have no periods at all?
Saraishi 25
Even with birth control you have to take a break each month. You can skip it once in a while, like if it falls on a vacation week or beach day, but not resting for long periods of time from the pill which is only meant to negate the ovulation process, not the period, isn't really recommended because it can start to affect the overall health.
Heteroscodra 8
I have an IUD, no period and no breaks :P
Bekll 31
I have taken a birth control pill every single day for years and haven't had a period in at least three years now.