Today, my period has given to me 4 giant zits, 3 screaming shits, 2 stomach ulcers, and a fever blister on my lips. A few days until Christmas and the gifts keep coming. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I received the gifts of my period, diarrhea, severe dizziness and double vision, and an ant infestation in my home. These were followed by the glaring absence of any gifts from my husband. Happy 40th to me. FML
Today, I have a UTI that spread to my kidneys, a yeast infection, and a herpes outbreak. Oh, and my period came this morning. FML
Today, for the first time in years, my period is early. I woke up at 5 a.m. with the worst cramps I've ever had in my life. Medicine isn't helping. It's literally so bad I feel like I want to throw up. It's fucking Christmas but hey, it wouldn't be 2022 if my garbage pile of a body wasn't ruining something for me. FML
Today, I woke up bleeding from every orifice in my body. I've got a nose bleed from my medication, my gums bled when I brushed my teeth, I'm on my period, and I have hemorrhoids. FML
Today, I have both a cold and a period. Tomorrow, I will have a cold, my period and my wisdom teeth taken out. FML
Today, I woke up with my period. At least I'm getting into the Christmas spirit with red and green shorts, right? FML
Today, it's 3 days before Christmas and my first day of holidays. Today is also the first day I have been sick all year. Hello tonsillitis, goodbye fun. FML
Today, I have the flu, food poisoning, and I'm on my period. I have enough liquids pouring out of me from various holes to satisfy a sewer. FML
Today, I found out I have a yeast infection, a bladder infection, and a urinary tract infection all at the same time. Oh, and I also have the flu. FML
Today, I found out that instead of having four wisdom teeth, I have eight. They all have to be removed as soon as possible, which happens to be over the Christmas break. I get to spend my whole vacation in excruciating pain and a swollen face to boot. FML
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Top comments
CMYKorBust 7
...and a partridge in a pear tree ?
breedles 28
I mean, that's awful, obviously, but damn. This was really cleverly written, OP
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Comments (52)
queen_snek 7
this is the best FML I've seen in my entire life
Saraishi 25
Twelve days of Christmas — Womanhood Edition.
ApplePie1994 27
*sings* Three burning rings!
lgard 17
Anyone else who sang that in their head with the melody? ?
paskievitchjack 23
That blister on your lips wasn't a fever blister...
JamieLuv2u 11
I am inspired to finish the song. What do you think ladies? On the 12th day of my Period my body gave to me... 12 PMS cries 11 super tampons 10 panty liners 9 crazy cravings 8 crushing cramps 7 back pains 6 pads with wings! 5 ruined panties 4 giant zits 3 screaming ***** 2 stomach ulcers And a fever blister on my lip-eee Perhaps worthy of the FML blog, staff? Feel free to suggest other fun versions!
samlovesham1234 9
OMG LOL!!!!
JMichael 26
FIVE STOMACH PAINS!!!!
ambeerr 14
and people are still out there saying "periods aren't that bad, all it is is bleeding from your ******."
TgtMech 8
Congrats, you have herpes simplex
AnalBeads4U 20
I hate to be the one to burst your bubble but "fever blisters" or "cold sores" are literally just oral herpes...
PraesensAbsens 0
"Fever blisters" & "cold sore" are really just other terms for that. No one wants to say.. "Hey, I have herpes on my lips again."