Today, my now ex-boyfriend actually claimed that his cheating didn't count because A) the other girl is his lab partner, and B) she's overweight. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my now ex-boyfriend actually tried to justify his cheating by saying it doesn't count as cheating if the girl's bisexual. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I'm now about 15 pounds overweight. When I called him a hypocrite as he's over 40 pounds overweight, he said that his weight didn't matter because "it's the girl's job to look hot." FML
Today, my boyfriend admitted to purposely sabotaging all my weight loss efforts. When I confronted him, he said it’s because he doesn’t want me to get thin and turn into one of those stuck up, snobby, mean girl types that wouldn’t date him in high school. We’re in our 30s dude, get over it! FML
Today, my boyfriend sent me a text that said, "I can't be seen with you anymore. You're too fat." FML
Today, my ex said I had a lot in common with his new girlfriend. His new, grossly overweight, college drop-out, clinically depressed, constantly pot-smoking girlfriend. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me I should stop talking about his major gambling problem because he still loves me even though I gained weight. Apparently that evens things out. FML
Today, my (now ex) boyfriend and I had a fight, during which he said, "This is why I talk to other girls." I called him out for admitting to cheating and he told me I was toxic. FML
Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I've recently become serious about getting fit, and have lost nearly 84 pounds. Apparently, when I was fat, I made her look smaller in comparison. When I got slimmer, she insisted I either gain the weight back or she'd leave. So she did. FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me by throwing my stuff out of his place, and accusing me of cheating while yelling, "Cheater, cheater! Pumpkin eater!" When I tried explaining that I have no clue what he's talking about, he started exclaiming, "Liar, liar! Pants on fire!" FML
Today, I went running. My girlfriend was so surprised at the fact that I'm exercising that she accused me of making it up so I could cheat on her. I'm just trying to get in shape. FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
At least he's your "now ex-boyfriend".
Kitsi 14
I guess he's not your boyfriend because he's a dickless wonder. Also, being overwight doesn't mean she is not a human female. ******* loser.
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Comments (121)
Welshite 40
At least he's your "now ex-boyfriend".
RawrImaDragon 18
Am I the only one annoyed by the "now ex-boyfriend/girlfriend" thing?
DocBastard 40
How else would you phrase it? My recently ex-boyfriend? My until-recently-boyfriend? My ex-boyfriend-with-whom-I-just-broke-up? "Now ex-boyfriend" seems the least unwieldy.
NoFlippinWai 24
Yes. It answers the question some asshat was going to ask.
Shrike 24
I'm more sick of "don't you mean your EX-boyfriend?" comments than this. And yet you just know that some asswipe is going to say "dump him" anyway. Edit: #11 didn't waste any time at all.
Sports_guy3 28
#2- Hopefully.
gc327072 31
Again, with my idea for the phrase filter.
mandyrozrox 13
yes, yes you are.
lilmisstif 21
Because those seem like completely logical reasons. (sarcasm)
jazzy_123 20
yeah and he also forgot to claims that he's an idiot asswipe
jazzy_123 20
yeah and he also forgot to claims that he's an idiot asswipe
Kamon97 23
If anything reason B) made things even worse what an idiot...
raddybear 11
Yeah there is no reason at all to cheat on some one you are in a relationship with its so much better to peacefully end the relationship and then do what ever feeling aren't as hurt that way
Qwermy 16
Just because he isn't proud of it doesn't make it not cheating.
\ 28
Neither does the failure to achieve an erection.
HeyHeyFishFillet 34
@4, my thoughts exactly. It's laughable when people try to justify their actions by pretending it's not a big deal because of its relevance to their feelings.
Kitsi 14
I guess he's not your boyfriend because he's a dickless wonder. Also, being overwight doesn't mean she is not a human female. ******* loser.
184886837272837 32
Yeah I agree! It's pretty shallow of him to use her being fat as an excuse. That's actually so mean to that poor girl.
Aleys_fml 21
Even if she wasn't female it would still be cheating
chicme 9
I don't see how its that mean since she took part in the cheating as well...which makes her just as inconsiderate and asshattish
MzZombicidal 36
#72, it's mean because she's STILL a person, no matter her weight. Also, OP's ex could have simply lied to the lab partner and pretended he didn't have a girlfriend in the first place.
AntiPrude 26
At least OP doesnt have to be jealous of anything at all, considering he just stuck his knob in the crevice of a whale. Why the hell would he cheat on his girlfriend with a fat girl anyway? Unless he couldnt get any better, in which case OP is very well to be rid of him.
graceinsheepwear 34
He obviously didn't give much weight to what your reaction would be.
HeyHeyFishFillet 34
He probably thought he wouldn't have good chemistry with his lab partner as well. Oh well, no point in trying to dissect his reasoning for cheating, be glad you're done with that cheating scum.
kumarina 35
C) He is an ass
MrSassypants 34
His reason for cheating is because he is an ass? Now that's a reason that makes sense.
MrSassypants 34
Looking back on my comment, that sounds very sarcastic, which I didn't mean for it to be. I blame everyone else that's not me for my comment sounding sarcastic anyways.
kumarina 35
He is an ass because of the reason he gave explaning the cheating
BrotherPhil 35
Well, that too.
Chumbowamba 10
I guess you can say he was experimenting? and the experiment failed o.O but in seriousness sorry op dont deserve that.
MasqueradePrince 25
His logic reminds me of Huckleberry Finn. -shakes my head-
Enslaved 38
More like "I'm your Huckleberry" OP, I'd be happy to help carry the coffin on his way to his "Tombstone".
MeowZebraMeow 7
Tell him that your "relationship" was only research for your next one. He's obviously into science, he'll understand.
SaekwanB 15
Best comment on this FML yet
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 23
I feel sorry for both you and that poor girl. Hopefully she'll dump his ass too.
Farmillionaire 8
I think she did...but im not sure what "now ex-boyfriend" means. Someone help us.
mansen 15
I think #11 was referring to the lab partner. As in hoping the lab partner will dump the guys ass too.
sicksadworld1317 30
The "too" makes me think that #11 was referring to the lab partner, not to OP. It does seem that it was more of a spur of the moment fling than a relationship on the side though, so I doubt the lab partner really needs to dump him.