Today, my son-in-law slapped my daughter, so I put him in an armhold and threw him outside. My daughter refused to press charges so he got away, but then he pressed charges against me for hitting his head against the wall when I threw him, so I got arrested instead. Justice is a shitting joke. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my scumbag son slapped his girlfriend in front of her family, and her dad picked him up and threw him off a second floor balcony. Good for her dad, he deserved it, but now he's laid up at my place and I have to wipe his ass and listen to him whine. FML
Today, I paid my daughter a surprise visit, only to see her husband beating her. I charged in and slammed him into the wall. She screamed at me to stop. They'd recently gotten into martial arts and were sparring, and now he's got a broken arm. FML
Today, my daughter had to deal with a Karen at her job, lost her temper, and punched her unconscious just to shut her up. Sounds like a good thing, right? Wrong, she pressed charges, got my daughter arrested, and she’s now facing years in prison for grievous bodily harm. FML
Today, a woman accused my husband of being a pedophile because he was at the playground with our daughter alone. To make matters worse, our daughter punched the woman in the face, so now she's pressing charges. FML
Today, my mom was put in jail for beating the shit out of my dad. FML
Today, I got home to my son with a bruised face and my daughter locked in her room. Apparently, when she got home from work, her unemployed brother asked her when she was going to cook dinner, so she punched him in the head. He’s so entitled that he actually thought he’d get sympathy from me. FML
Today, a punk-looking college kid was making fun of my mentally handicapped son. Out of anger, I punched him in the face. I got handcuffed and thrown into a police car. The kid stood there laughing and pointing at me. FML
Today, a bunch of cops showed up at my house demanding to see my wife to make sure she was OK. Turns out my insane out-of-state daughter swatted me, calling 911 to tell them I had tied up my wife, and been impersonating her for a week. FML
Today, my neighbor called the cops on me, claiming I'd threatened him with a gun. Despite zero proof, they took me to the station and gave me hell. I guess what I've learned today is that you should never offend your crazy neighbor by breaking up with his daughter. FML
Today, I got bailed out of jail. I was there because I saw a girl being hit by her boyfriend. I rushed over to help only to have her hit me repeatedly. The cops came and she blamed her bruises on me. The boyfriend corroborated her story. FML
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Top comments
cuz803 46
******* prick. He's a coward for putting hands on a female. Especially one who refuses to press charges. You wanna act like a man, you get treated like one so you, indeed, did the right thing. I personally would have done more severe damage with that armhold so you are a person of class for not eviscerating the cretin. Argue self-defense. Or maybe try to change your daughter's mind and consider pressing charges for assault. Next time, after you restrain an assailant, call 911 immediately to get the legal jump on them. I hope the scrawny nag receives a much harsh ass whupping in the future.
randybryant799 21
That's sad that your daughter is putting up with his abuse. Please try to help her.
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Comments (9)
randybryant799 21
That's sad that your daughter is putting up with his abuse. Please try to help her.
GoogieWithers 25
Might be worth speaking to you daughter and seeing whether his actions are a regular thing. Son in law may use this one incident as an excuse to separate you from your daughter. If it is an abusive situation, please be very careful about how you approach things.
cuz803 46
******* prick. He's a coward for putting hands on a female. Especially one who refuses to press charges. You wanna act like a man, you get treated like one so you, indeed, did the right thing. I personally would have done more severe damage with that armhold so you are a person of class for not eviscerating the cretin. Argue self-defense. Or maybe try to change your daughter's mind and consider pressing charges for assault. Next time, after you restrain an assailant, call 911 immediately to get the legal jump on them. I hope the scrawny nag receives a much harsh ass whupping in the future.
brockwaycc 3
You shouldn’t have shoved his head in the wall, you should have shoved his head THROUGH the wall. **** him
rhett 5
Please start a gofundme for your defense.
Nikki Imler 3
I would contribute to that cause in a heartbeat. hit one of mine and I'm going to jail for murder not assault.
carolinarose0430 4
Tel the cops you did it as defending your daughter
Nikki Imler 3
I hope your daughter leaves his stupid ass!! and congrats to you for protecting your daughter. hope all charges on you are dropped. your daughter better have her ass in that courtroom to defend you
DarkAngelsBlade 25
Doesn't matter if she pressed charges or not. You were in self defense of a third party. That's your way to getting it thrown out. In fact, because she refused to press charges you can use that as evidence that he's been abusive to her before, that she's either scared of him or is used to being treated that way and at the very least get your self defense of a third party situation resolved.
CTscan 8
you have to ask what she did