Today, my now ex-boyfriend actually claimed that his cheating didn't count because A) the other girl is his lab partner, and B) she's overweight. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my now ex-boyfriend actually tried to justify his cheating by saying it doesn't count as cheating if the girl's bisexual. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I'm now about 15 pounds overweight. When I called him a hypocrite as he's over 40 pounds overweight, he said that his weight didn't matter because "it's the girl's job to look hot." FML
Today, my boyfriend admitted to purposely sabotaging all my weight loss efforts. When I confronted him, he said it’s because he doesn’t want me to get thin and turn into one of those stuck up, snobby, mean girl types that wouldn’t date him in high school. We’re in our 30s dude, get over it! FML
Today, my boyfriend sent me a text that said, "I can't be seen with you anymore. You're too fat." FML
Today, my ex said I had a lot in common with his new girlfriend. His new, grossly overweight, college drop-out, clinically depressed, constantly pot-smoking girlfriend. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me I should stop talking about his major gambling problem because he still loves me even though I gained weight. Apparently that evens things out. FML
Today, my (now ex) boyfriend and I had a fight, during which he said, "This is why I talk to other girls." I called him out for admitting to cheating and he told me I was toxic. FML
Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I've recently become serious about getting fit, and have lost nearly 84 pounds. Apparently, when I was fat, I made her look smaller in comparison. When I got slimmer, she insisted I either gain the weight back or she'd leave. So she did. FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me by throwing my stuff out of his place, and accusing me of cheating while yelling, "Cheater, cheater! Pumpkin eater!" When I tried explaining that I have no clue what he's talking about, he started exclaiming, "Liar, liar! Pants on fire!" FML
Today, I went running. My girlfriend was so surprised at the fact that I'm exercising that she accused me of making it up so I could cheat on her. I'm just trying to get in shape. FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
At least he's your "now ex-boyfriend".
Kitsi 14
I guess he's not your boyfriend because he's a dickless wonder. Also, being overwight doesn't mean she is not a human female. ******* loser.
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Comments (121)
NoFlippinWai 24
"Well My teacher said we were together for the year. I thought he meant "together"." complete with air quotes.
yukumariooo 11
Oh of course it wasn't cheating. He was only doing it for science after all! ... Yeah your boyfriends an idiot.
Coolaidegirl 18
now ur starting to sound like t' pall
jrod9327 17
That is the most int... No lets be honest, he's a dumbass
isuckok 11
I want to comment something witty, but I'm afraid of the barrage of thumbdowns :/
Welshite 40
Your name...it's so accurate. How do you do it?
184886837272837 32
And here come those thumb downs you were worried about...
isuckok 11
It is a truly accurate representation of my life, Welshite
emirie 21
I gave you a pity thumb up
MrSassypants 34
iSuckok? Isn't that the latest apple product?
magiczebra 9
Your fears came true. Welcome to your worst nightmare.
drshn 22
I have already given you a thumbs up. Go ahead and deal witty it
Dcm210 19
And C he's a ********.
Farmillionaire 8
that would be D)...Someone already said C)
Coolaidegirl 18
wow,have to say that sucks,
Ins0mau 20
Button. FOR. That. Yo.
nanjiii_fml 26
Funny he is! :) >>> are you convinced?
Fernando83 19
At least he stopped at "C". Move on and do better.
aishaa1 15
Wow he is a big dumbass.
perdix 31
I hope you mean EX-boyfriend. Hey, who says wishes don't come true?
Welshite 40
Ooh, watch it, perdix. Shrike's going to impale your body on a stick and then eat you after you're dead and dried.
sunnyray812 42
She did say ex.
perdix 31
#42, I know! Isn't that great? I wished for it and it happened! Yay!!