Today, I went running. My girlfriend was so surprised at the fact that I'm exercising that she accused me of making it up so I could cheat on her. I'm just trying to get in shape. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, my wife accused me of cheating. Why? Because I recently started working out, and according to her, no married man tries to improve his physique unless he's trying to look good for other women. FML
Today, I felt like going to the gym. I asked my girlfriend if she wanted to come with me. She screamed at me for supposedly implying that she's fat. No, I just wanted to go to the gym with someone. FML
Today, I lied to the treadmill about my weight. FML
Today, I decided to get back into shape and go for a run. With a 1/4 mile left to run, I saw a hot chick a block ahead of me running. Trying to show off I ran hard and passed her stopping just outside my complex. I started to throw up right as she came past me because I had run so hard to pass her. FML
The wrong end of the stick
Today, I actually feel good about my decisions and my life. I've even started running to improve my health, and recover from self harming. My girlfriend is convinced I'm running to hurt myself, and won't let me near any health food or the treadmill. FML
Get on with it!
Today, I told my fiancée I was going to the gym. She gave me a dozen "quick, easy errands" that took me over three hours to finish. When I was done, I called her and said I was going to the gym now. She yelled, "You still haven't gone? You've been out for days! What have you been doing?" FML
Jaded
Today, I've been an avid gym-goer since I was in high school. A year ago I convinced my girlfriend to start going to the gym with me and she had been sticking to it since. She has now has left me for a full-on fitness model she met there. He helped her start an online store, which is doing well. FML
Today, I went on a run with my crush. She expressed how happy she was to have a decent running partner, because the last one kept complaining he thought he might throw up. We got to the top of the hill and I puked right in front of her. FML
Jog on
Today, feeling out of shape, I went for a jog. I got mugged. FML
Today, my girlfriend put her hand on my abs and confessed that she was glad I'd secretly started working out. I couldn't bring myself to admit that I've been constipated for three weeks. FML
Top comments
robc32ca 4
sorry bud she'll never trust you
Cinn_fml 23
If she's that insecure I think you need to reevaluate the relationship. Or, you could go running with her to both exercise and spend time together...though there is a more effective exericise you could do together.
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Comments (159)
the_Flirt 0
hahaha ur fatt
HeatherXCore 0
Ask her to run with you? You can both get in shape and she won't have her suspicions. argh anti flood can suck my weiner.
kalixzo 11
lol this is so funny
jptipton2001 0
I'd rather be fat then have that gay haircut of yours.
PurpleMonkeysFor 0
there is nothing wrong with being a little overweight and wanted to get more in shape . or even stay big if so chosen . as long as the weight doesn't affect your health that is.. I think op should have a long talk with the gf
whoooop 0
**** you
Mapholisto 7
9, I was thinking that your random capitalization and lower-cases mixed up was some sort of awesome secret message. But as I see it, FAINOP is not a word nor an acronym I am aware of, so that must just be fail on your part? 1, I think your hair is pretty awesome.
LtBrenton 16
But if you anagram it you get FAP ON IA... maybe he either really likes or really hates Iowa.
Xeno213 0
wait does this mean you're living with your gf? wth man.
rawr_hello 0
#1 i love your hair.
phatdaddy 0
@67 Welcome to 1993. Where've you been?
therealdavid 0
Wow. run u fatass. or don't and plow ur gf instead. sex burns 200 calories roughly! ;)
phatdaddy 0
@80 Who the hell are you replying to?
happy_animal_lov 0
#12- you have a wiener?
Finalninja447 2
You have a weiner, girl?
sosoinlove09 0
Good idea. Yea you should try asking her to run with you
rawr_says_dino12 0
lolz that's funny cuz u dnt hav a wenier!!! or at least i hope not...
PatRme 9
but, you're a girl
Aspire_fml 0
round is a shape OP .. just ask Homer Simpson! xD
rawr_says_dino12 0
12 ur so pretty u shud be a model then u can meet sexy male models **** anti flood bc i just found out wut it is and it just hAppend to me grrr hiss
wilkshire13 0
round is a shape...
Mimasita 1
it's probably because she's not in the best of shape so she wants a bf who isn't in the best of shape so she doesn't have to bother exercising. good for you tho! keep on working out.
whoooop 0
first!
superbadd 0
epic fail u loser
superbadd 0
O: the one my last one is for comment disappeared WTF!
sonnet 0
9 ur just jealous of 1;)
juddy5 0
yeah get her run with u that way she can work off her fat ass and get off yours
Krajjan 9
Same thing happened to me when I came back from Basic. My girl was so surprised I was exercising of my own free will, she accuse me of lying. I dragged her with me on a couple of five mile ruck runs on a gravel trail. Never, ever bothered me about exercising again. P.S. 1: Your hair is modeled after... Goku?
mesnugglez 0
Well you probably given her a reason not to trust you. Either way you should talk to her about it if not break up with her before things get out of hand.
phatdaddy 0
Not true at all, #65. It's very common for people who suspect their partners of cheating to be sunconsciously projecting their own perfidious feelings on their partners. They rationalize their feelings and thoughts of infidelity by assuming that the other must feel the same way, then they suspect the partner has acted on those feelings. And it just snowballs from there, and then they end up on Cops. It's a defense mechanism. A really... REALLY retarded defense mechanism.
JupiterIcicle 1
come back all sweaty, wait that might not work. well are you cheating cause that's a hell of a good excuse. In fact, you could go out for a "run" and then just run to your girlfriends house.
Cinn_fml 23
@mesnugglez - it might be possible she's been cheated on by a previous partner and is now always suspicious. But I agree, they need to talk about why she thinks that.
JupiterIcicle 1
by girlfriends, I mean your other girlfriends. and if she loves far away. well you're still getting a workout right?
phatdaddy 0
@JupiterIcicle - Was any of that directed at me? I can't figure out who you're replying to. When you're in a long thread, you should specify who your reply is directed towards.
JupiterIcicle 1
it was to the OP. lol I don't really reply to the people on this site because half of them (not neccesarily you.) are complete morons.
TaylorTotsYumm 10
lol number 61. clever
HeatherXCore 0
Yes everyone I've got a weiner and it's huge. You can see it fr space. (For everyone who can't tell that's sarcasm) :D
YouGotTold 0
if you stay with her ydi
phatdaddy 0
@JupiterIcicle - Well if you're not replying to anyone, then don't click reply. Stay our of existing threads if you aren't adding to the conversation. It clutters them up with irrelevant posts.
robc32ca 4
sorry bud she'll never trust you
mdsm515 0
Fu$& her
JupiterIcicle 1
I hve a question for ^^^^^ What's a Fu@$ or whatever you put. I don't speak symbol and neither does OP
rawr_says_dino12 0
98 wut the **** is in ur pic or wut the hell is it supposed to be?? op- my friend once had a loser gf tht told him not to cheat! meanwhile, she had another bf of her own... he never cheated, she did! so f•ck her and get a new gf
Itz_PJ 0
133 - read their name lol
JupiterIcicle 1
their? I'm one person
rawr_says_dino12 0
I still dnt get it and yes their as in o their name picture is ******* stupid
secretlovee 0
their is possesive u idiot it can be for one person
Cinn_fml 23
Their can be used in place of his or her when the gender is unknown. However in this case JupiterIcicle has a blue outline around their pic, therefore it would appear he's a guy. JupiterIcicle's picture is of the planet Jupiter captured in an icicle, does that make it any clearer, rawr_says_dino12?
rawr_says_dino12 0
haha I get iiiit!!!! o thts funny! duznt exactly look like an icicle tho.. but thnx haha u the best
rawr_says_dino12 0
blue duz not mean its a dude it cud be a chick!!!!!
Cinn_fml 23
Sorry, rawr_says_dino, I'll make it clearer. Each avatar has an outline around it; gray, pink and blue. These correspond to how people have filled in their info, pink is for people who've said they're female, blue for male, and gray for those who haven't fill it in. (This is by no means definitive as people could lie, but let's assume that people tell the truth about their gender)
YakuzaxGeneralz 9
she is using that as an excuse to cheat on you while ur out running
Sun_Kissed18 25
haha plot twist! But I've heard that the most insecure people are the ones doing the cheating so this is very possible
therealdavid 0
76 ur smexy!
JupiterIcicle 1
81- your creepy! why can't everyone just leave the girls of this website alone.
seanders 10
I agree with 88. Are there seriously that many sex deprived FML users? And if so why aren't they the ones posting?
Cinn_fml 23
If she's that insecure I think you need to reevaluate the relationship. Or, you could go running with her to both exercise and spend time together...though there is a more effective exericise you could do together.
whoooop 0
dammit >:o not first
Mikeymikey 4
She can accuse you but then what? Who's wearing the pants hey??? lol :D
heyfuq 1
She's probably cheating on you.
kalixzo 11
lol she's probably screwing another dude while ur out on ur run. anti flood can suck my 9 inch weiner!!!!!
paid2think 0
Nice to know
superbadd 0
O_e
rawr_says_dino12 0
wut does OP mean??
rawr_says_dino12 0
o thnx hehe
rawr_says_dino12 0
wait wuts ur picture?? it's creepyyyy