Today, after my son lost an eye in an accident, he has recently been fitted with a professionally made false eye. I thought I could trust him to take it seriously, but nope, turns out when getting the eye made, he secretly insisted the eye be a mixture of blood red and fire yellow to look demonic. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a few months after my son lost a canine tooth, he went to get a replacement fitted. He came home with his other canine tooth removed and both replaced by vampire fangs. Permanent vampire fangs in his mouth, where people can see them and judge me for being a bad parent. FML
Today, my son accidentally damaged another kid in the face with a baseball bat, while blindfolded trying to hit a piñata. Except there was no piñata, or blindfold. FML
Today, my youngest son thought that RedBull actually gave him wings. What it actually gave him was a trip to the ER and 7 stitches. It also gave me a meeting with social services. FML
Today, I caught my 12 year-old seconds away from dripping bleach in his eye. Apparently “someone online” told him it scars the pupil red permanently, like a devil's eye, and he believed them. I’m shutting off the internet permanently, I can't handle his level of stupidity anymore. FML
Today, my brother asked me if I wanted to see a magic trick. I stupidly said yes and now have a black eye from where he punched me. My dad thinks it's hilarious and my mum says he didn't know any better. He's 13. FML
Today, after my 22-year-old son realized that there was no more contact solution, he decided to use tequila because he thought it would "kill the germs." We had to go to the hospital to have his eyes flushed out. I raised this moron. FML
Today, I had to take my husband to the hospital because he thought it would be funny to Superglue googly eyes to his dick. FML
Today, I was working on my computer when my dad walks in, pointing his finger at me like a gun. Before I could even ask, it turns out he was aiming a rubber band at me. The doctor says I'll be able to take off my eyepatch in a couple of days. FML
Today, I was tinting my own eyelashes when I missed my eyelashes and stabbed myself in the eye with the applicator loaded with dye. Now, I have beautiful lush black eyelashes, to match my half-closed swollen red left eye. Sexy. FML
Today, my son wears all dark clothes, has gotten evil looking tattoos, and worships the devil. It was kinda cute when he was 13, slightly concerning when he turned 18, but now he’s 30 and I’m unsure if I should be more accepting of his lifestyle or just plain old shit scared. FML
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Top comments
Crowned Sataness 12
let him have a little fun with it! he's the one coping with losing an eye
Jessica Carey 11
good for him keeping a sense of humor in a shitty situation. This affects you not in the least so get over it.
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Comments (8)
Jessica Carey 11
good for him keeping a sense of humor in a shitty situation. This affects you not in the least so get over it.
Crowned Sataness 12
let him have a little fun with it! he's the one coping with losing an eye
Anderling 33
It’s his eye. He can take it as seriously as he chooses. The most you can do is suggest an eyepatch or a “normal” prosthetic for professional settings, but for everything else, well, it’s his eye and his life.
mike3775 39
So what’s the problem? I wouldn’t care if any of my kids did that because it’s them who lost the eye, not me. Besides, it seems your son is trying to have fun considering he lost an eye.
poopface82 25
It’s his eye. He’s the one who lost it. If he wants to get a design of him flipping off Uncle Sam in a bikini, he can do it.
Justkidding100 41
sounds awesome! get over the fact that you have no choice how he dresses now and your life will be better!
lalalaila777 24
dude lost his eye, and youre bitching about the eye color of the fake eye he has to wear daily? you need to stop 🤮
FluffythePink 23
I can hear your eyes rolling 😂 But you have an awesome kid. Let him own his shit the way he wants to. The choice is easy, do you want a kid (I'm assuming teen to young adult) who sounds like he's coping pretty well with a massive change in his life or do you want one completely destroyed by it? It's a no brainer. Yes the 'oh dear lord...' parental embarrassment factor is loud with this one but c'mon, very few young people can adjust well or fast to a facial disfigurement, especially in this day and age of image being absolutely everything. Celebrate his demon eye, buy yourself some snazzy demon eye contact lenses and join in. It's either that or hiding under your seat at restaurants or family gatherings... 🤣 Please high five your kid for me. He sounds like a Dude with a wicked sense of humour and a fun life ahead of him.