Today, my new neighbor informed me with great relish that the house I have just bought is haunted because 30 years ago a man shot himself in the kitchen. I'm now paying a huge mortgage on a house I'm frightened to be alone in. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was painting my new house when my neighbor introduced himself. Mid-conversation, he said, "The lady who lived here was nice, but just couldn't get over her husband hanging himself in the garage. Or her son shooting himself in the basement." I'll never sleep again. FML
Today, I just bought my own house after divorcing my wife of 30 years. We'd been childless by her choice, and as I stood in my new living room, looking at the emptiness, I couldn’t help the feeling I just bought a 2-storey, £125,000 coffin that I’ll one day die alone and be buried in. FML
Today, I moved into my new apartment. My neighbor is apparently crazy and thinks I'm trying to 'steal' her husband. She watches me and is super paranoid. I have a two year lease. FML
Today, I moved into my new house. The previous occupants failed to tell me that they'd recently kicked out their crazy crackhead son, who seems to think they've paid me to pretend that they've moved out and that I'm the new owner. He wants back in. FML
Today, the great deal on my new apartment has turned into a nightmare. I keep hearing extremely weird sounds almost every night, and when I tried taking pics of the place today, my camera's face recognition feature kept activating, but only in my bedroom. I'm scared shitless. FML
Today, I found out that I bought a house next door to crazy people. She asked me if I would mind not showering when her husband is at home, because he can hear me and knowing I’m naked on the other side of the wall turns him on, which is a nuisance for her. He’s unemployed. He’s always at home, the creep. FML
Today, less than a day after my cranky downstairs neighbor passed away, I woke up to banging sounds against his apartment ceiling, like the ones he used to make whenever I walked around during the night. I'm shitting myself in fear. FML
Today, I’d been dying to escape my dreary hometown, but had panic attacks at the thought of being on my own, but at last, I'd found a place I could afford. Turns out, the guy I was going to rent from was just arrested for murdering his last tenant. FML
Today, I had to spend a depressingly long time convincing my 29-year-old husband that our house isn't haunted and that the door slammed shut because it was windy outside. I repeat, "29-year-old husband" and "haunted". It's like I'm married to a child. FML
Today, a haunted house opened up next to my restaurant and they've gotten into the habit of scaring me as I'm cleaning up at night. They stay open for another month. FML
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Top comments
letiflor 3
lol just get the house blessed 0:)
orangeduck 6
If food began to dance in the air then I would be scared.
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Comments (114)
duran021 0
it will be okay maybe they guy is just pulling your leg..in america the real estate agent is required by law to tell you if someone died in the property your looking at, so I'd assume it's the same there. so if the agent didn't mention it don't sweat it :)
pdp_fml 21
Do they have "disclosure" laws about that type of thing? In the US, you must disclose any facts like some died or was killed in a house before you buy the property.
dansco 25
Stay out of the kitchen then! Let your wife do everything in there... boom boom ;)
maximusaurelius 6
I'm with the person that mentioned that most people in science are irreligious. Science and religion often times don't mix, just like Church and State. Ex-The people that think the Earth is only 6,000 years old. Really? Also, to settle things, you should be able to look up public records about it if you are that concerned. At least you can in the US, but I can't speak for the UK. Maybe you can get a discount on it or something if he's telling the truth. :) The only way ghosts "exist" is if it is residual energy left behind after somebody is killed/dead or somebody is seeing stuff. We still really don't understand the body completely, especially the brain, where there is a crap load of electrical activity. That being said, I still don't believe in ghosts. Just like Bigfoot or the Lochness monster, I'll believe it once I see cold, hard, indisputable evidence. Flame away.
silverhelms 5
time to nut up
AznShadowWc 9
who you gonna call?
ardencred 7
shouldn't that be disclosed prior to purchase? hire an agent next time you buy a house!
VeganVampyre 27
Wow, that's kind of creepy because I just read a book about a family that moved into a house where someone had committed suicide in the kitchen. Then the spirit possessed the youngest daughter and she tried to kill half the town, including her own family. Good book :)
americanpschoo 2
GHOST BUSTERSSSSS
daxter136 0
I was #187 ha ???