Today, the whole family came together to celebrate my grandmother's 80th birthday. My grandfather read a poem he'd written about how he had taken my grandmother's virginity 60 years ago. It went on for about 30 minutes. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my 70-year-old grandmother held a celebration over officially having divorced my grandfather. FML
Today, my grandmother decided to tell me about her past as a prostitute. In full detail. FML
Today, my family was celebrating my grandma's 90th birthday. I pulled a little prank and got candles that keep relighting. After a few blows, my grandma fainted. FML
Today, my grandmother gave me a huge speech on being abstinent until marriage. Being the honest person that I am, I told her I wasn't a virgin anymore. Instead of being mad and telling me I was going to hell. She asked me what my favourite things to do sexually were. And told me hers in detail. FML
Today, at a big family wedding, my great nana shared quite loudly with us that most of the people in the pub wouldn’t exist if at 15 she hadn’t dumped her lying boyfriend, then made herself feel better by losing her virginity to an Italian waiter and accidentally becoming pregnant with my grandma. FML
Today, during a family reunion, my 89 year-old grandma stood up and drunkenly made a speech about how ashamed I should be of myself for still being single. She then passed out at the table. Half my family got up to help her, the other half whispered in agreement. FML
Today, my grandma gave me the 'abstinence' speech. I had thought she already left to go back to FL but then came into my room to tell me how proud she was of me to keep my virginity. I was doing it doggie-style with my boyfriend. FML
Today, my family threw me my 21st birthday party. My grandma's gift turned out to be a pack of condoms. "Not that you'll ever get to use them," she said, turning and walking off, cackling maniacally. Now I remember why I never talk to the old crone. FML
Today, I attended a family reunion, during which my grandma gave me "relationship advice" in front of everyone. She's been married five times, and her longest marriage lasted a whole 6 months. FML
Today, my 92-year-old great-grandfather ran down the stairs in excitement, despite his severe arthritis. He told my great-grandmother that he was having the first erection in over 10 years, and grandma ordered me to leave so they could do it right there. FML
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Top comments
saIty 17
He must have been very specific if it went on for 30 minutes.
Soloman212 28
How romantic! I'm sure the whole family enjoyed it. Did you ask for an encore?
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Comments (101)
Sniper3000 0
that must have been horrible srry op
adamcole20 0
grandpas are awesome
tittymagic 0
old people are the best. kid: grandma will you please say grace? grandma: oh grace died 10 years ago kid. lol
Iamnotmyself 17
And then I passionately squeezed her buns, and a fire erupted inside like a volcano bursting at the sunset. Our screams of joy brought forward the feeling of bliss and angry complaints from next door neighbors.
Tektite 14
Just think of it this way OP... They were young at the time? lmao
lcecreamNSadness 2
You too can do it when you become a grandmom. And blame it on Karma.
dolphincheddar 10
is there any way I could obtain your grandpas autograph?
Crncj 0
smart. he was smart to right a o poem about it. and they've been together for 60years or so? damn....
ollierobs 0
It puts the lotion on its skin...
skillz8 0
23 Christmas vacation reference for the win
ShakeMeDown 12
I like how no one has noticed that she was 30 when she lost it..
ShakeMeDown 12
whoops I mean 20.. iPods are not good for typing
orangeduck 6
Preach Grandma, preach! Praise da lord!
flavboarder 9
that is soo gross, why even say that orange duck
smartypants96 3
wtf dude thats nasty
Soloman212 28
How romantic! I'm sure the whole family enjoyed it. Did you ask for an encore?
berrenduh 0
that's hilarious
bjdavey 8
Haha This is the best FML I have ever heard!
saIty 17
He must have been very specific if it went on for 30 minutes.
rattusrattus 19
Here's hoping he's good. Or McGonnagall-level bad.
Complaining 13
Or just really slow and dramatic.
shanie123 10
ewwww fyl
Edwinadii 4
Your only saying eww cus u still imagine them like if they were 80.
shanie123 10
i'm saying ewww bc i wouldn't want to hear about my parents, let alone my grandparents!
blackrose01 6
awkward.
jamie72596 9
Haha, awkward...
middlekid2 5
Your cute:)
babygirlc1 5
vintage
MicMic_fml 7
Black & white ****?
rAnDomDiNoSaWr 0
ucky! so srry for you OP.
IIIXIII 0
ultimately hilarious really...