Today, my new boyfriend was at my flat for the first time. He picked up something in the bathroom and said 'What the hell's this?'. I told him what it was for, and he said 'You girls and your weird female products. Who needs all this stuff?'. It wasn't a female thing. It was shampoo. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out the crappy shampoo I've been borrowing from my girlfriend is actually "feminine wash." FML
Today, I noticed that my very expensive facial cleanser was almost out. I had moved in with my boyfriend recently, and questioned him, telling him "You don't have to use so much to wash your face. That's a $70 bottle." To which he responded, "Oh, that nice-smelling stuff? Yeah, I use that on my junk." FML
Today, my ex dropped by to pick up a piece of art he'd left when I threw him out a month ago. While here, he visited the restroom. Tonight, my shampoo smelled like urine. And he called at 11pm to say he'd ''rubbed one out'' on my new boyfriend's toothbrush. FML
Today, I got a text from my boyfriend whilst on the train home from spending the weekend with him at his grandparents' house. It said, "Gran says to tell you that the bin beside the toilet is actually for storing spare shampoos and toothbrushes, so could you not put your tampons in it next time?" FML
Today, I was about to leave for my honeymoon with my new husband, when he saw my deodorant in my bag. He picked it up and asked what it was. When I said it was deodorant, he gave me a confused look and said, "Girls don't wear deodorant." He actually believed that. FML
Today, I let my boyfriend sleep over at my house for the first time. Upon arriving, he tossed his stuff on the floor and said "I gotta take a piss, where's your shower?" FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend pees in the shower. This would've been OK if he was peeing into the drain. Instead, he pees on the shampoo and soap bottles. FML
Today, I discovered my new boyfriend doesn’t have toilet paper. He has a toilet cloth, which he instructed me to rinse off in the toilet after I was done. FML
Today, I found out that the reason I gave a girl "the ick" was something she saw in my bathroom. Was it a filthy sink, a massive skid mark, or some kind of bizarre sex toy? No, I use those blue toilet cleaner tablets and apparently that means I'm a "prissy princess". FML
Today, I was taking a shower. I heard my boyfriend come into the bathroom, brush his teeth and take off his clothes. He joined me in the shower and instead of doing something loving or sexy, he let out a huge fart into his hand and threw it into my face. FML
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Top comments
QuantumLegend 0
Shampoo? We don't use shampoo, we use MANpoo.
rockr_chick 5
lol manpoo sounds like another name for shit.
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Comments (137)
truehitman2010 0
shampo? whats that?
perdix 31
You are probably using some overpriced, pretentious glop where most of the price is spent on the fancy-ass writing on the bottle telling you a bunch of pseudo-scientific junk about the natural ingredients inside. He uses Prell.
underguarded 20
Three cheers for Greasy hair.
kdig26 0
notice... no cheers... lmao
Kittehx3 0
How can people be that stupid...
SdCounty33 0
You're gorges!
CaptainPickles72 18
I'll second that!
marie_yuh100 3
your hair is wayy pretty
xSmilesXD 0
kitteh I love u!! XD
effstephslife 0
he probably just uses soap for all his shower needs.
ceeejjjj 0
Wow! Who needz a new bf??? YOU DO !!!! ROTFLMAO
Googolman 29
Wow! Who needz a life??? YOU DO !!!! ROTFLMAO
enonymous 9
Real men don't use that shit. Sand paper to wash the face, whiskey to clean the mouth, some ***** we just slept with to cover up the stank the last ***** left and full metal wire brush to style your hair. Not so hard.
SdCounty33 0
Oh my Jesus Christ monkey balls! you can't be serious. You must be the guy OP's talking about!!!! Get 'em!!!
CaptainPickles72 18
I like the way you think #22
thug007 1
Dump him, he's a moron
StrangeCandy 0
OMG, OP, your BF is a moron. And if he doesn't know what shampoo is, I highly doubt he bathes, therefore run away. He'll stink up your sheets.
scotchnacid 4
maybe u should consider breaking up with him??