Today, my new boyfriend was at my flat for the first time. He picked up something in the bathroom and said 'What the hell's this?'. I told him what it was for, and he said 'You girls and your weird female products. Who needs all this stuff?'. It wasn't a female thing. It was shampoo. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out the crappy shampoo I've been borrowing from my girlfriend is actually "feminine wash." FML
Today, I noticed that my very expensive facial cleanser was almost out. I had moved in with my boyfriend recently, and questioned him, telling him "You don't have to use so much to wash your face. That's a $70 bottle." To which he responded, "Oh, that nice-smelling stuff? Yeah, I use that on my junk." FML
Today, my ex dropped by to pick up a piece of art he'd left when I threw him out a month ago. While here, he visited the restroom. Tonight, my shampoo smelled like urine. And he called at 11pm to say he'd ''rubbed one out'' on my new boyfriend's toothbrush. FML
Today, I got a text from my boyfriend whilst on the train home from spending the weekend with him at his grandparents' house. It said, "Gran says to tell you that the bin beside the toilet is actually for storing spare shampoos and toothbrushes, so could you not put your tampons in it next time?" FML
Today, I was about to leave for my honeymoon with my new husband, when he saw my deodorant in my bag. He picked it up and asked what it was. When I said it was deodorant, he gave me a confused look and said, "Girls don't wear deodorant." He actually believed that. FML
Today, I let my boyfriend sleep over at my house for the first time. Upon arriving, he tossed his stuff on the floor and said "I gotta take a piss, where's your shower?" FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend pees in the shower. This would've been OK if he was peeing into the drain. Instead, he pees on the shampoo and soap bottles. FML
Today, I discovered my new boyfriend doesn’t have toilet paper. He has a toilet cloth, which he instructed me to rinse off in the toilet after I was done. FML
Today, I found out that the reason I gave a girl "the ick" was something she saw in my bathroom. Was it a filthy sink, a massive skid mark, or some kind of bizarre sex toy? No, I use those blue toilet cleaner tablets and apparently that means I'm a "prissy princess". FML
Today, I was taking a shower. I heard my boyfriend come into the bathroom, brush his teeth and take off his clothes. He joined me in the shower and instead of doing something loving or sexy, he let out a huge fart into his hand and threw it into my face. FML
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Top comments
QuantumLegend 0
Shampoo? We don't use shampoo, we use MANpoo.
rockr_chick 5
lol manpoo sounds like another name for shit.
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Comments (137)
emariebake 0
meh. I once dated a guy who used his bar soap to wash his hair along with everything else. is his hair scratchy and dull?
TeenieAmerica 9
You pretty much fail. Flat is not a new word.
m1ssophiebee 0
omgsh tat is so funni
Lintutu 0
What the hell does "flat" mean? House? Home? Apartment? Porch? Patio? Basement? **** my life because you used a word that doesnt even make sense
Sinkhole 26
I found something that could help you. The dictionary says that 'flat' is "A shallow container in which seedlings are grown and sold". So, I'll explain the FML for you, 'cause it's obvious that you're in need of it. OP is growing some seedlings and she took her boyfriend to see the shallow container with them in it. Apparently, she grows the seedlings and then sells them in order to pay for her fancy shampoo. Did that help? Now, **** your life because even though you have a grasp of what 'flat' is, you're still bitching about the use of that word.
cali4eva 12
Flat is the British word for apartment. It's not that big of a deal.
Googolman 29
The word makes perfect sense, it is just that your ignorance renders you incapable of learning simple words. Instead of writing that entire comment, you could of just searched it up on Google and be done with it. Grow up.
imsobad 0
flat is a kind of home, dumbasses.
moogiex9 6
Way to make a public display of your ignorance! Just because YOU don't know what a word means - that doesn't mean it's NOT a word. OP - sounds like time to get a new bf.
mk58 31
So he's never been acquainted with shampoo? That is just gross.
DKjazz 20
Don't be mean. :(
Igor_g5 0
I agree that he has a problem if he's a adult and doesn't know what shampoo is.
Igor_g5 0
Well look what you're wearing. Who would wear that?