Today, my new boyfriend was at my flat for the first time. He picked up something in the bathroom and said 'What the hell's this?'. I told him what it was for, and he said 'You girls and your weird female products. Who needs all this stuff?'. It wasn't a female thing. It was shampoo. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out the crappy shampoo I've been borrowing from my girlfriend is actually "feminine wash." FML
Today, I noticed that my very expensive facial cleanser was almost out. I had moved in with my boyfriend recently, and questioned him, telling him "You don't have to use so much to wash your face. That's a $70 bottle." To which he responded, "Oh, that nice-smelling stuff? Yeah, I use that on my junk." FML
Today, my ex dropped by to pick up a piece of art he'd left when I threw him out a month ago. While here, he visited the restroom. Tonight, my shampoo smelled like urine. And he called at 11pm to say he'd ''rubbed one out'' on my new boyfriend's toothbrush. FML
Today, I got a text from my boyfriend whilst on the train home from spending the weekend with him at his grandparents' house. It said, "Gran says to tell you that the bin beside the toilet is actually for storing spare shampoos and toothbrushes, so could you not put your tampons in it next time?" FML
Today, I was about to leave for my honeymoon with my new husband, when he saw my deodorant in my bag. He picked it up and asked what it was. When I said it was deodorant, he gave me a confused look and said, "Girls don't wear deodorant." He actually believed that. FML
Today, I let my boyfriend sleep over at my house for the first time. Upon arriving, he tossed his stuff on the floor and said "I gotta take a piss, where's your shower?" FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend pees in the shower. This would've been OK if he was peeing into the drain. Instead, he pees on the shampoo and soap bottles. FML
Today, I discovered my new boyfriend doesn’t have toilet paper. He has a toilet cloth, which he instructed me to rinse off in the toilet after I was done. FML
Today, I found out that the reason I gave a girl "the ick" was something she saw in my bathroom. Was it a filthy sink, a massive skid mark, or some kind of bizarre sex toy? No, I use those blue toilet cleaner tablets and apparently that means I'm a "prissy princess". FML
Today, I was taking a shower. I heard my boyfriend come into the bathroom, brush his teeth and take off his clothes. He joined me in the shower and instead of doing something loving or sexy, he let out a huge fart into his hand and threw it into my face. FML
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Top comments
QuantumLegend 0
Shampoo? We don't use shampoo, we use MANpoo.
rockr_chick 5
lol manpoo sounds like another name for shit.
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Comments (137)
ILoveEmoes 9
Uhm, why does everyone seem to think that not using shampoo is equals not bathing at all? :b Maybe he has one of those body+hair thingies and he just didn't realize that the shampoo was sort of the same thing?
sourgirl101 29
It was probably an expensive salon style shampoo and not the $4 Suave he's uses to. Can't say I blame him for not understanding.
Miss_Random 0
I'm sorry, but no one could be that stupid. Even if it was a fancy, high-end shampoo, he should have been able to read the word 'shampoo' on the bottle.
stephyloo 0
I totally agree... this guy either doesn't know what shampoo is or can't read. either way he's a moron. let's hope he knows what deodorant and toothpaste are
brianjman14 23
Agreed. I always look for the words "Shampoo" or "Conditioner" when using a bottle I'm not familiar with.
your_face 15
Maybe the word "shampoo" wasn't that noticeable on the bottle, if it was highly decorated or something. He probably asked what it was before examining it, because he'd get a faster answer that way.
hardcore1414 0
My wife has many bottles where the word "shampoo" is like finding waldo in that "where's Waldo?" book.
Avenged7Gabe 0
well maybe he uses the shampoo/bodywash by Old Spice, get out more!!!
whippymcdumb4zs 0
win
perradize 0
#winning! Lmao oh the fun I have laughing at dumb things &'d people such as your bf! YDI for dating a grease monkey!
Epiclover 0
Wow.. Dump him seriously
TeaLover_fml 0
He's a keeper.
perdix 31
I once dumped a girl because I used the shampoo I found in her shower. It was called Nair.
gkflower 0
hahahhaa fyl, that would suck :|
shutupK 0
why would you dump her though? it was your own idiot fault for not reading the bottle...
chantellesmith 0
csb?
GeorgeForPm 5
nice duck face