Today, my new anti-social cat started rubbing on my leg. I thought she must be warming up to me. Then, I looked at my leg and saw she smeared poo all over my work pants. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I let my new cat sleep in bed with me. It was cute until she wiped a tapeworm onto my arm. FML
Today, my cat decided that instead of using the brand-new scratching post I bought him, he was going to use my pant leg while I was asleep. FML
Today, my cat was being surprisingly loving towards me. Normally she ignores me so I obviously found this rather odd. She kept meowing so I assumed she was hungry. As I was getting up to feed her, she stood up and pooped all over me, my bed and phone, then turned away and ran. FML
Today, my cat is extremely sick and has trouble grooming himself. As evidenced by his butt. He laid on me for a while and it wasn't until a few minutes after he got off that I realized he had stained my pants. That also explains why my chair suddenly looks so nasty, and why my room smells horrible. FML
Today, in the early hours of the morning, my cat started scratching at my legs. I got out of bed and he raced me to the stairs, tripping me. I fell all the way down and landed in cat poop. FML
Today, my new subletter moved in. Within 6 hours, one of my cats took a dump on her pants. I freaked out, lit some candles to hide the smell, and threw her pants in the washer. When the cycle was done, I found her cell phone at the bottom of the washing machine. FML
Today, we took my cat to get her shots. She screeched and clamored in the car until I took her out of the carrier and held her in my lap… where she immediately pooped on my new white pants and then hid under the seat. FML
Today, I was having a romantic evening with my new boyfriend, until we walked into my bedroom and discovered that my cat had ripped apart my pads and had spread them all over the place. FML
Today, at 6 am, I was suddenly jerked from the warm embraces of sleep by the smell of poo. I was very groggy and confused when my hand landed in something wet and cold. I turned on the light and was horrified to find that my kitten took a huge dump in my bed. It was everywhere. FML
Today, my cat, who is very 'don't-ever-touch-me', jumped up next to me as if she wanted to be stroked. In reality, she wanted to share a hellish fart. I need a new cat. FML
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Top comments
lettertjes 0
eew. And then you took your pants to the drycleaner and all was well again.
purplemnm 9
cats are evil. 'nuff said.
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Comments (85)
Ross2Smoove 0
lmaooo
Miley_Virus 0
wow, the guy sounds like a real 'ass wipe'.
geordieboysgirl 0
Cats rub against you to mark you with their scent. Maybe yours is just a little extreme.
dorito_420 0
your cat FTW
xvolt 0
kill it with fire.
topbanana 0
haha good kitty :D
purplemnm 9
cats are evil. 'nuff said.
Brandon96 0
dogs sucks
purplemnm 9
bad grammar, prepare for the rage if delicious cinnmon sugar cookies, she's gonna eat you, like in Russia.
koco4 0
That sucks. Hopefully you were home from work and not on your way out. My cat did this last month, except he had diarrhea and he left a poo trail from the litterbox, up the stairs and on the upstairs carpet. not only did I have to clean the carpet, u had to clean his 20lb ass :(
Drumr3oy 0
kill the cat......I hate cats!!!!!!