Today, I woke up in pajamas I have never seen before. Usually, I sleep naked, and I live alone in a locked apartment. Then, the elderly woman next door asked for her nightgown back. Apparently, I sleep-walked and knocked on all the doors in my hallway repeatedly. I'm moving. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after a long day at work, I fell asleep in my living room. When I woke up, I saw a man leaving my bedroom wearing my pajamas, and I started screaming as he casually left. The cops came and apparently he's mentally ill. He truly believed it was his house. FML
Today, my mom informed me that she saw me sleepwalking last night. I didn't think much of it, until I remembered that I went to bed without any clothes on last night. FML
Today, someone knocked on my door. I yelled "Yeah?" while getting up, since it was locked. My grandpa walked in, as I apparently didn't actually lock it. I was naked. FML
Today, I found out my grandma sleeps in the nude. I witnessed her running naked from her bedroom to the bathroom, because she "didn't have enough time" to put on her robe. I need to get my own place. FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of footsteps outside my room. I investigated but found nothing. As I went back to my room, I heard a sort of giggling from inside. I was so scared, I grabbed my car keys, got the fuck out of there, and drove to my girlfriend's house in my pajamas. FML
Today, I lazily answered the door in my pajamas. It was my elderly neighbor asking to borrow a can opener. Despite the strange and unwarranted scowl she was giving me I obliged. It wasn't until after she had left that I notice my penis was completely sticking out through the flap in my pants. FML
Today, I slept in late and when I woke up, thought I was the only one in the house so I decided to walk around the corner to the only upstairs bathroom naked. My dad also slept in, also thought he was the only one in the house, and also decided to walk to the bathroom naked. We collided. FML
Today, my 76 year-old mother-in-law stayed the night at our house. I bumped into her on the way to the bathroom during the night. She discovered I sleep naked. Sadly, I found out that she does, too. FML
Today, I got locked out of my house in my pajamas while trying to take the trash out. My neighbor offered to help, but only after taking a picture of me for "future laughs." FML
Today, I locked myself out while taking the trash downstairs. I was wearing pajamas, slippers, and a winter coat over nothing else. My neighbor offered to help, then spent ten minutes trying not to laugh while I explained that my keys were sitting on the kitchen counter. FML
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Top comments
lettertjes 0
Ohhh that's bad I would be totally freaked out. Maybe you should also think about what caused the sleepwalking and do something about that. The most common causes are stress and alcohol abuse.
maskedman 9
It's a good thing you're a woman. If you were a man you'd be registering as a sex offender right now. Then it wouldn't matter where you move.
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Comments (129)
lettertjes 0
Ohhh that's bad I would be totally freaked out. Maybe you should also think about what caused the sleepwalking and do something about that. The most common causes are stress and alcohol abuse.
bunny911 16
Actually it's technically caused by the messages that your brain sends to your body to shut down and not move during REM, not getting to your body. But yes, those are two possible and likely causes of said blockage between brain and body.
canchremechanic 0
I know something and you don't! S-M-R-T! I am smart.
iSitt 0
your next fml will be that your new apartment building turns out to be a sex offenders colony and you are still sleepwalking
LtHoward 0
Lol wow, that just sucks.. I agree, go see a doctor, I hope all you did was sleep walk a little haha
killahnikkix 0
gah, that's horrible. D:
lizh_fml 9
yeah, i would probably move...
ThankYhuCaptinOb 0
maybe the elderly woman tried to help you , you was naked [ I suppose ) and she saw you so as a kind gesture for you not to be embaressed she tried to find a nightgown for you and brought you back to your room . Anyways , OP moving won't do anything . Just go see a docter . it's probaly stress .
bunny911 16
I think people are missing the point of why OP is moving. Her (potentially) entire building has just seen her naked. would you be able to stick around after that?
sovietkiwi 0
I think you would ^
EatUrGreens 20
Yeah but she doesn't know that for sure since she was sleeping. The elderly woman is her neighbour so she's clearly one of the first people's door she knocked on before OP wandered off in the haĺlway.
ThankYhuCaptinOb 0
and BTW , I would be pretty scared if a a naked guy came and knocked my door . imagine if you feel on her ( the elderly lady ) !
perdix 31
I agree. It would be pretty scary if a naked guy came and knocked your door. It would be worse if he did those things in the reverse order.
__ShAd0w__ 0
it's girl idiot
quikwit1212 0
^It doesn't really matter, idiot. Would you like a random naked person banging on your door at 2 in the morning?
toxicxflower 0
^that sounds sooo wrong haha
WordsOfHope 0
lol@64
katmandont 0
#33 perdix - I think your humor was a bit too subtle there... It did make me laugh though. Next time, use a whoopie sledge hammer instead of a feather.
purplehaze980 0
guyz u don't understand why the op said he is moving , so that instead of an elderly lady asking for her gown back , it's some hot chick asking for her thong back;)
quikwit1212 0
That doesn't make any sense...
skizza_fml 3
especially considering op is a girl so I doubt that's the reason am I the only one thinking some people on here don't read the whole fml before they leave a comment
Ouroboros_fml 0
try it for two or three nights, you can't go back... I wish I could, in case my building catches fire or something...
Yaggi 0
you shouldn't sleep naked then :D
okieraider71 4
If this isn't fake, then go to a medical supply house. They sell a short leash that goes from your leg to your bed. When you get up, the leash comes unhooked and sets off an alarm. The alarm requires you to repeat a number pattern to silence it. It is a pattern you can not do while you are in any stage of sleep.
purplehaze980 0
@ 15 hummmm, u seem to know a lot about this
alexFYL 11
Yeah it's called being a sleepwalker or dealing with sleepwalkers. purplehaze you clearly have less than 8 brain cells left.
ElMetalero 0
lmao that alarm thing would be so awesome to just put it on a random person while they're sleeping and watch them try to figure it out in the morning
purplehaze980 0
yeah u know that cuz last night u entered my brain trying to steal some , since u have none left . n stf if u don't know ne thing about sarcasm oh yeah I forgot u have no brain cells!!