Anonymous
Brooklyn, United States
Today, I let my new cat sleep in bed with me. It was cute until she wiped a tapeworm onto my arm. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Brinty
Australia
Today, my new anti-social cat started rubbing on my leg. I thought she must be warming up to me. Then, I looked at my leg and saw she smeared poo all over my work pants. FML
Anonymous
San Francisco, United States
Today, I finally got myself settled into bed around 2 in the morning after a very long day. My cat started to snuggle with me when I smelled something disgusting. Turns out my cat sharted in my bed. FML
catlover
China
Today, our new cat, which my mum was hesitant about letting us keep because she believes they're diseased, gave us all ringworm. FML
Anonymous
Springfield, United States
The Lovecats
Today, my cat woke me up by vomiting a big, warm, stinky hairball on my neck and then left. I think she was smiling as she trotted away. FML
Anonymous
United Kingdom
The gift
Today, I turned over in my sleep and fell out of bed, face-first into a puddle of cold cat vomit that my cat had left for me. FML
Anonymous
Atlanta, United States
Wake up call
Today, as I was trying to fall asleep, I was jolted awake by my oldest cat who'd decided it would be perfect to power-puke all over my bed. FML
Zodiacfall
Precision strike
Today, I replaced my bedsheets with new, clean ones. I went to the bathroom to wash up, and when I came back, my cat had peed exactly where my head would be. FML
xXWhiteSheepXx
Omaha, United States
Today, my cat likes to share my pillow at night. I guess she was extra comfortable last night, because she didn't bother getting off it to hack up a hairball. I woke up because I rolled my face onto it. FML
TheLivingDeadTree
United States
Sobering
Today, I made my way to bed around 4am after spending all night hanging out with my family. When I got to my bed, I started to clear a spot to lay down. Almost immediately, my hand touched something furry and cold and, fearing the worst, I turned the light on. Turns out my cat left me a half eaten rodent. FML
Noname
United States
Today, my cat was in the bathroom with me. I was getting undressed to get into the shower. My cat looked at me after I'd undressed and then threw up all over the rug. FML
Top comments
Tripartita 45
TWO pets for the price of ONE?! Some people have all the luck!
fitnessgram 19
I don't know what you're definition of a good time is, but I would find that rather romantic. Just you, your cat, and a tapeworm.
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Comments (51)
SixthSinEnvy 39
I bet that was a cat-tape-strophe.
nanam329 12
Get out
SixthSinEnvy 39
Hey, I tried. *sulks out quietly*
fitnessgram 19
That was a terrible pun. Haha, just kitten.
iAlissa 34
Meouch
mattyiscool123 26
Nope try again
buttsmcgee 11
More like a cat-ass-trophe.
will968 15
Ayy
thatannoyingdude 19
At least they didn't blurt out "First!"
fitnessgram 19
I don't know what you're definition of a good time is, but I would find that rather romantic. Just you, your cat, and a tapeworm.
Honest_Guy 10
At least you know your cat has tapeworms now.
slingerslasher 24
At least you know your tapeworm has cats.
KittyKatarina 14
Sharing is caring
Mynamewontfi 40
Speaking from experience, Kitty?
TheNewGuy03 29
Hello, Kitty.
Tripartita 45
TWO pets for the price of ONE?! Some people have all the luck!
WintressSoldier37 27
I am now your stalker, sir
HighRevolver 17
Idk why people find this guy funny his comments aren't even good
Tripartita 45
It could be the oral sex and candy I bribe them with, #28.
WintressSoldier37 27
Yes! its quite wonderful actually.
Jayms_fml 32
LOL #28. I find most of his comments are funny though. ;)
HollyQuinn 21
I'd add some worm medication to your shopping list. Also, gross.
cek727 16
Sorry, but if your first action as a new pet owner WASN'T going to the vet to get them established as a patient and checked out, it is /kinda/ your own fault. It still sucks though. I do understand that emergency situations come up where the animal HAS to be taken in right away and the medical stuff sorted out afterwards. If that's the case, totally not your fault.
gracehi 33
Tape worms can happen any time in cats. All it takes is eating one flea that happens to be carrying eggs. It's only OP's fault if she now doesn't get the medicine.
MallowMistress 13
My boyfriend waited 5 days before he was able to take our new kitten to the vet, because he had to wait until payday to afford the visit. Circumstances are everything.
gracehi 33
No choice now but to set yourself on fire.
the_real_dvd 21
Just go to the animals section of FML if you're experiencing the urge to get a pet.
AlmostDiffident 9
I just got two new kittens, now I am having a panic attack
jvanevery 19
when I got my cat a couple of years ago within two months he was worth $500 in vet bills
Sharall 10
#22. You always deworming me cats. Especially kittens. 98% of the time they get them from their mom.