kb
United States
Today, my mother gave me a bottle of stool softeners as a gift at my baby shower. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
RedheadA
This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff
United States
Hungover
Today, my husband and I woke up to see my drunk mother passed out on our couch. She was wearing nothing but socks. FML
psychopumpkin
This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff
Boston, United Kingdom
Hard times
Today, I'm so strapped for cash that I smuggled toilet paper out of my mother's house. FML
Turnipseed3
This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff
United States
Double sus
Today, I was sitting on the toilet, pregnant as ever, and really sick. I asked my fiancé to bring me a pair of clean underwear. He did so and brought me some lacy underwear. They weren't mine. FML
LucyLollipop
This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff
Neil Diamond was wrong
Today, I had my first glass of red wine after months of pregnancy and giving birth. Just as I sat down and started to relax, I spilled it all over myself and my in-law’s couch. FML
justsomesummer
Beaverton, United States
Today, I got a new babysitting job. Every time the little girl goes to the bathroom, she screams and cries until I wipe her. She's 7 years old. FML
Anonymous
This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff
Thanks for the info
Today, my mother told my boyfriend a cute story about me when I was little. The one where my cousin and I were caught pooping in a urinal in the church basement. FML
Anonymous
This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff
United States
Well done!
Today, I was at the mall with my young daughter. I hate pooping in public but I really had to go so I brought her in with me. Thinking we were alone, I started to go and my daughter yelled, "Good job Mommy, you're using the potty like a big girl!" I then heard laughing. FML
Sober
Sponsored by Popov
Today, my wife, who has a drinking problem, looked me straight in the eye as she poured herself a "water" bottle to enjoy while at work. FML
badsitter
This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff
Hard no
Today, my mother stopped speaking to me because I won’t let her babysit anymore. Her idea of babysitting is to sit my daughter alone with a tablet and a pile of sugary junk food for 7 hours straight. FML
blewidstepr
This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff
Slippery when wet
Today, I realized that my 3 year-old son, who is being potty trained, has better aim standing up to pee than his 30 year-old father. FML
Top comments
Michael903 18
Parents always give what we need. Not what we want.
Welshite 40
No, you didn't.
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Comments (130)
maddiewoah 15
Seems like the weirdest gift to give someone at a baby shower, but trust me (and lots of other people who have posted on this), it's very likely that you'll need them! You might even be given some in the hospital - I was, haha.
lovelyrevenge21 14
Trust me. You'll thank her later.
AntiqueDoll 8
You'll be thankful later when you haven't pooed for about a week. you may wanna go ahead and stock up on some prune juice as well. After I had my son the spinal block medication made it feel impossible to go. Cherish the gift and don't feel embarrassed. It happens to us all, unless you're going natural. If so, I tip my hat to you. I wanted to but when the time came, noped out.
The_Paladin 16
you are going to be thankful for those, especially after you give birth.
reaxion 25
Well as a father who changed plenty newborn nappies in my time, I can safely tell you the baby won't need those :-) A really crappy gift for a mother-to-be though.
lux0rd 18
No one said it was for the baby. Baby showers have gifts for 2 people.
sanecatlady 13
Welp, there's yet another thing to add to my list of reasons to never have a baby: A clogged colon. Ew.
marcranger 29
Right? This and basically every other FML labeled "kids" are in my file of evidence I'm compiling to convince a doctor to give me a tubal ligation already!
worldclassrager 41
Regift it for Christmas...it's a pretty good stocking stuffer...
Omniprism 15
Save them and gift them back to her for Christmas or her birthday.
lux0rd 18
It's the gifts you least appreciate at baby showers that get the most use. At a baby shower earlier this year my mum and I gave a baby first aid kit with nostril clearer, thermometer and some other things like that. The mother didn't give the gift a second look but when we visted a few months later when the baby was born she couldn't stop raving about what a great and useful gift it was and how she could barely put it down. Just becuase it's not something you want doesn't mean you don't need it.
photogodess 13
Actually it's really practical just not a great gift... Maybe would have went better had it been in private, but I personally know after the birth of my son it will come in handy, she was coming from a good place.