kb
United States
Today, my mother gave me a bottle of stool softeners as a gift at my baby shower. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
RedheadA
This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff
United States
Hungover
Today, my husband and I woke up to see my drunk mother passed out on our couch. She was wearing nothing but socks. FML
psychopumpkin
This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff
Boston, United Kingdom
Hard times
Today, I'm so strapped for cash that I smuggled toilet paper out of my mother's house. FML
Turnipseed3
This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff
United States
Double sus
Today, I was sitting on the toilet, pregnant as ever, and really sick. I asked my fiancé to bring me a pair of clean underwear. He did so and brought me some lacy underwear. They weren't mine. FML
LucyLollipop
This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff
Neil Diamond was wrong
Today, I had my first glass of red wine after months of pregnancy and giving birth. Just as I sat down and started to relax, I spilled it all over myself and my in-law’s couch. FML
justsomesummer
Beaverton, United States
Today, I got a new babysitting job. Every time the little girl goes to the bathroom, she screams and cries until I wipe her. She's 7 years old. FML
Anonymous
This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff
Thanks for the info
Today, my mother told my boyfriend a cute story about me when I was little. The one where my cousin and I were caught pooping in a urinal in the church basement. FML
Anonymous
This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff
United States
Well done!
Today, I was at the mall with my young daughter. I hate pooping in public but I really had to go so I brought her in with me. Thinking we were alone, I started to go and my daughter yelled, "Good job Mommy, you're using the potty like a big girl!" I then heard laughing. FML
Sober
Sponsored by Popov
Today, my wife, who has a drinking problem, looked me straight in the eye as she poured herself a "water" bottle to enjoy while at work. FML
badsitter
This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff
Hard no
Today, my mother stopped speaking to me because I won’t let her babysit anymore. Her idea of babysitting is to sit my daughter alone with a tablet and a pile of sugary junk food for 7 hours straight. FML
blewidstepr
This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff
Slippery when wet
Today, I realized that my 3 year-old son, who is being potty trained, has better aim standing up to pee than his 30 year-old father. FML
Top comments
Michael903 18
Parents always give what we need. Not what we want.
Welshite 40
No, you didn't.
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Comments (130)
wholock 12
I have no words
DocBastard 40
I counted exactly 4 words that you had. No punctuation, but there were definitely words.
MommyLuvs 11
Actually, those will come in handy. You'll need those after you deliver. Congrats on your little one! :)
Chellybelly92 14
That's a really thoughtful gift OP friends of mine needed during and after the pregnancy. Now if you needed a stroller high chair, or car seat and that's what you got, I can understand the frustration but when the time comes and you need you'll appreciate having it already.
harinakshi 4
Have a baby, miss a day of those pills, give your mom a big huge....think birth is painful? Mother knows best. #4 on the way over here and I've already got some waiting in my cupboard. I'm assuming this is your first; post labor is the most indignant, messy, disgusting time you will probably ever experience.
stretchedthin 20
trust me after birth you're going to need it especially if you tore and had stitches
howdoilogin 9
How the hell is this an FML?
sugarbear0727 19
It'll come in handy. Maybe not what you wanted, but trust me, you will need it.
oui230 4
You actually might come to like it once my wife had our baby a week ago she was able to poop for 4 days.
babygirl2251991 3
honestly op youll thank her later, they end up suggesting you take them after the baby is born to prevent ripping stitches and to help re-regulate things. best of luck!
grtfuldeadlovr 27
Be thankful u will need that later