kb
United States
Today, my mother gave me a bottle of stool softeners as a gift at my baby shower. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
RedheadA
This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff
United States
Hungover
Today, my husband and I woke up to see my drunk mother passed out on our couch. She was wearing nothing but socks. FML
psychopumpkin
This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff
Boston, United Kingdom
Hard times
Today, I'm so strapped for cash that I smuggled toilet paper out of my mother's house. FML
Turnipseed3
This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff
United States
Double sus
Today, I was sitting on the toilet, pregnant as ever, and really sick. I asked my fiancé to bring me a pair of clean underwear. He did so and brought me some lacy underwear. They weren't mine. FML
LucyLollipop
This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff
Neil Diamond was wrong
Today, I had my first glass of red wine after months of pregnancy and giving birth. Just as I sat down and started to relax, I spilled it all over myself and my in-law’s couch. FML
justsomesummer
Beaverton, United States
Today, I got a new babysitting job. Every time the little girl goes to the bathroom, she screams and cries until I wipe her. She's 7 years old. FML
Anonymous
This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff
Thanks for the info
Today, my mother told my boyfriend a cute story about me when I was little. The one where my cousin and I were caught pooping in a urinal in the church basement. FML
Anonymous
This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff
United States
Well done!
Today, I was at the mall with my young daughter. I hate pooping in public but I really had to go so I brought her in with me. Thinking we were alone, I started to go and my daughter yelled, "Good job Mommy, you're using the potty like a big girl!" I then heard laughing. FML
Sober
Sponsored by Popov
Today, my wife, who has a drinking problem, looked me straight in the eye as she poured herself a "water" bottle to enjoy while at work. FML
badsitter
This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff
Hard no
Today, my mother stopped speaking to me because I won’t let her babysit anymore. Her idea of babysitting is to sit my daughter alone with a tablet and a pile of sugary junk food for 7 hours straight. FML
blewidstepr
This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff
Slippery when wet
Today, I realized that my 3 year-old son, who is being potty trained, has better aim standing up to pee than his 30 year-old father. FML
Top comments
Michael903 18
Parents always give what we need. Not what we want.
Welshite 40
No, you didn't.
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Comments (130)
gimmickgame 7
You'll be happy to have it say the house when you get home and are dying (god forbid you tear) and it's either chance leaving the house with a baby, leave baby with dad, or sending dad to the store to get it. None of those options will end well.
conqueror57 11
How incompetent is your partner that he can't handle going to the drug store alone??
elle1112011 2
Oh you'll need it. I had my baby 2 months ago and things are just getting back to normal
Megaemochick100 0
I'm pregnant, my mom saw this, and says she's going to do this now ;-;
texascutie10 1
trust me, you'll need it!
Gumbylette 5
my son is 2 weeks old and I hold my stool softeners dear to me. There is not much you will need more......
sjworcester 8
You'll be grateful to have them starting immediately after birth and continuing a few weeks after.... And that's if you don't need them while you're still preggo.
Jeffy91 28
Don't put the gift down til ya know the reason behind it. From what most people have told you obviously... you will most likely want/need them. I mean it dont sound like a nice gift but diapers dont sound much better. lmao
MV3_Heat_Fan 13
Don't strain the colon
Beruthiel 2
Honey, trust me... you'll thank her later :-)
trisal19 1
You will be happy for them after the baby comes :)