Today, my mother gave me a bottle of stool softeners as a gift at my baby shower. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Hungover
Today, my husband and I woke up to see my drunk mother passed out on our couch. She was wearing nothing but socks. FML
Hard times
Today, I'm so strapped for cash that I smuggled toilet paper out of my mother's house. FML
Double sus
Today, I was sitting on the toilet, pregnant as ever, and really sick. I asked my fiancé to bring me a pair of clean underwear. He did so and brought me some lacy underwear. They weren't mine. FML
Neil Diamond was wrong
Today, I had my first glass of red wine after months of pregnancy and giving birth. Just as I sat down and started to relax, I spilled it all over myself and my in-law’s couch. FML
Today, I got a new babysitting job. Every time the little girl goes to the bathroom, she screams and cries until I wipe her. She's 7 years old. FML
Thanks for the info
Today, my mother told my boyfriend a cute story about me when I was little. The one where my cousin and I were caught pooping in a urinal in the church basement. FML
Well done!
Today, I was at the mall with my young daughter. I hate pooping in public but I really had to go so I brought her in with me. Thinking we were alone, I started to go and my daughter yelled, "Good job Mommy, you're using the potty like a big girl!" I then heard laughing. FML
Sponsored by Popov
Today, my wife, who has a drinking problem, looked me straight in the eye as she poured herself a "water" bottle to enjoy while at work. FML
Hard no
Today, my mother stopped speaking to me because I won’t let her babysit anymore. Her idea of babysitting is to sit my daughter alone with a tablet and a pile of sugary junk food for 7 hours straight. FML
Slippery when wet
Today, I realized that my 3 year-old son, who is being potty trained, has better aim standing up to pee than his 30 year-old father. FML
Top comments
Michael903 18
Parents always give what we need. Not what we want.
Welshite 40
No, you didn't.
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Comments (130)
livianalemay 1
If you don't need them now, you'll definitely need them after you give birth!
MysticOblivion 4
If you've never had a kid before you don't know how much that actually helps.
Nvjds 12
what a shitty gift
dunicha 20
Believe me, if you're having a natural birth, you will be very grateful for those before long.
SarahBearah1995 11
You will need them after having a baby! It may not be a typical shower gift, but you will definitely be thankful for them. :) pushing a baby out makes everything hurt down there. The last thing you want to have to do is strain to go to the bathroom.
Mightytall 35
There will be a time when you're going to be grateful for it. Take it with a bit of humor and use it when (not if, because you will) you need it!
Nessco 36
Like some are saying, it can be a godsend after the baby is born. I tend to do health packs for the bub (thermometer, ear cleaners, soap, baby panadol etc) but also include Ural as I know how much it can help those mums who don't have a Caesarean. If that was all she got you and nothing else, then yes, it's an FML.
sierra142 19
Even after a c section they are needed!
MsMourningStar 22
That's actually a pretty awesome gift. But you won't appreciate it until the baby is constipated for the first time.
jeepers_1 21
I'm pretty sure that they are not for the baby... They are for mom.
Lookonthesunnysi 10
They will be needed!
ZomBgal 12
You'll thank her after you have the first bm after giving birth...