kb
United States
Today, my mother gave me a bottle of stool softeners as a gift at my baby shower. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
RedheadA
This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff
United States
Hungover
Today, my husband and I woke up to see my drunk mother passed out on our couch. She was wearing nothing but socks. FML
psychopumpkin
This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff
Boston, United Kingdom
Hard times
Today, I'm so strapped for cash that I smuggled toilet paper out of my mother's house. FML
Turnipseed3
This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff
United States
Double sus
Today, I was sitting on the toilet, pregnant as ever, and really sick. I asked my fiancé to bring me a pair of clean underwear. He did so and brought me some lacy underwear. They weren't mine. FML
LucyLollipop
This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff
Neil Diamond was wrong
Today, I had my first glass of red wine after months of pregnancy and giving birth. Just as I sat down and started to relax, I spilled it all over myself and my in-law’s couch. FML
justsomesummer
Beaverton, United States
Today, I got a new babysitting job. Every time the little girl goes to the bathroom, she screams and cries until I wipe her. She's 7 years old. FML
Anonymous
This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff
Thanks for the info
Today, my mother told my boyfriend a cute story about me when I was little. The one where my cousin and I were caught pooping in a urinal in the church basement. FML
Anonymous
This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff
United States
Well done!
Today, I was at the mall with my young daughter. I hate pooping in public but I really had to go so I brought her in with me. Thinking we were alone, I started to go and my daughter yelled, "Good job Mommy, you're using the potty like a big girl!" I then heard laughing. FML
Sober
Sponsored by Popov
Today, my wife, who has a drinking problem, looked me straight in the eye as she poured herself a "water" bottle to enjoy while at work. FML
badsitter
This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff
Hard no
Today, my mother stopped speaking to me because I won’t let her babysit anymore. Her idea of babysitting is to sit my daughter alone with a tablet and a pile of sugary junk food for 7 hours straight. FML
blewidstepr
This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff
Slippery when wet
Today, I realized that my 3 year-old son, who is being potty trained, has better aim standing up to pee than his 30 year-old father. FML
Top comments
Michael903 18
Parents always give what we need. Not what we want.
Welshite 40
No, you didn't.
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Comments (130)
hamyam_fml 6
You gun need them maybe she was just trying to be nice
Bcfrmkc816 17
You are gonna need them
inkedcanvas 1
Hahahahahaha!!! This is awesome.
katie1989 9
You'll thank her, trust me. First poop after baby made me cry.
iamsophie 13
To be fair, you might need it... Although chocolate probably would have been a better gift!
MadBroxx 2
Actually a very thoughtful gift. I mean, not extravagant, but if you tear during delivery of have a c-section, those things are a godsend.
143amandaott 10
OMG! That I so funny but not funny at the same time!!:)
yellowzinnias 20
Trust me honey, they might not be the cutest gifts and they might be a bit embarrassing, but you will soon realize that those stool softeners and a tube of Boudreaux's Butt Paste are the best gift anyone could ever give a pregnant woman.
LiquidFantasy 19
Anybody that has given birth to a baby knows that this is actually a wonderful gift. Stop being such a brat, you'll appreciate it after you push out a freaking watermelon. The only thing you need more than this, is soft toilet paper to take to the hospital with you.
INeedAUserNamr 13
I can imagine this is on that baby shower episode where (forgot name) gets all presents and stuff. Chandler just hands them to her and she's just like wtf chandler