Today, my mother continued her lifelong habit of talking to anyone who isn't white in extremely slow, exaggerated "caveman" English. She insists that she isn't being racist, but rather is helping. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had no idea my mom was low key racist until I told her I was dating a black woman, and she told me that was fine, just as long as I didn’t do something silly like fall in love with her or let her distract me from finding a proper wife. Wow mom, just wow. FML
Today, my mother went on another long rant, detailing 20 years of bad things that we all already knew about a relative. The slightest recollection in a conversation never fails to turn into unending monologues. I can't change the past, nor the subject of conversation apparently. FML
Today, I caught my mom in the back row of one of my lectures, so I confronted her. Apparently she’s been doing this all year to make sure I’m paying attention in class and not making friends with the "wrong sort of people" (yes, she's a racist as well). I can't wait to move out of her house. FML
Today, my mother once again interrupted me and talked over me, as though I wasn't saying anything at all. Then she wondered why I remained quiet after she was done talking about her mother doing that. Must run in the family. FML
Today, I had to explain to my white girlfriend that dating me doesn't give her the right to call my mother the N-word. FML
Today, my mother yet again went on a long rant about how much of a loser I am as I have "never had boyfriend" and I'm 26. Truth is, I've been in the same relationship for over five years but it "doesn't count because he's black." FML
Today, I was stuck on a campus tour with my subtly racist mother who, in an attempt to seem open-minded, deemed it appropriate to refer to our black tour guide as "Sistah". FML
Today, I overheard my caucasian mother on the phone lamenting to a friend that her future grandchildren won’t “look American”. Any future grandchildren of hers would be half Lakota native. FML
Today, I had to slowly and very seriously explain to my mother why there is no 'White History Month'. I can't believe we are actually related. FML
Today, my mom scolded me for ruining my sister's "vacation" here. She just got deported from abroad, and was only gone for 2 months after falling for a marriage scam. Now she deludes to herself that she was born and raised there, and claims not to understand our mother tongue, calling it third world primate language. FML
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Top comments
Trupe 3
Black guy no like racist mommy. Very offensive
gabbster95 0
maybe you should start talking to her like a caveman and see how much she likes it....
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Comments (102)
Sleeper1288 0
Wow, that's hilariously outrageous behavior. She doesn't really think that's necessary, does she? I agree with the poster who said some of the people she talks to like that probably think she's retarded.
alexgurl2good4ya 0
wooow! racist much? i seriously would love to meet your mom, see what she does around boricua girls.
xXxstarlightxXx 6
Fyl for being raised by such an ignorant racist ****.
kkbanks 0
ohh she's gonna look like a caveman after I get done beatin her up.
Chucknorrischick 0
At least her ignorance wasn't hereditary.
Carolina_girl222 0
aaahahaha! thats funny!
PurpleLlamas 0
94 yeah you are your def white. and how is this an fml? more like f the hispanics' life
cherylface 13
Oh, you're the judge of ethnicities now? As I mentioned further up, my boyfriend is a light-skinned Hispanic who looks white. Does that mean he's not Hispanic? I only ask because you are clearly the only person capable of determining these things.
Veldan 1
As bad as it all sounds, my mother does the exact same thing to anyone from overseas. She doesn't even realise that she is doing it.
randomlettrrs 8
89 u r hot
countrybaby1994 0
lmfao i might actually like your mom!(:
waterynuggets 0
Living up to your username, I see.