Today, I got diagnosed with a condition that expresses itself in the form of violent diarrhea whenever I get nervous. Now I am constantly nervous about getting nervous about anything. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I have a condition that when I get nervous, I get horrible diarrhea. I was taking an online math test worth a huge portion of my grade when I felt the rumble. Turning off the camera is an automatic fail, so I had to take my laptop to the bathroom with me. The teacher kicked me out of class. FML
Today, I've realized that I have two modes: Constipated, or ultra explosive diarrhea. FML
Today, I was prescribed medicine for anxiety. Without it, my stomach churns all day. With it, I shake uncontrollably and my eyes twitch. Now I have to choose between diarrhea and rude stares from people in public. FML
Today, I had a panic attack because I was constipated. FML
Today, I had to cancel an appointment due to diarrhea. I was so nervous that when the receptionist asked why, I told her, "I can't stop shitting." FML
Today, I finally figured out why I've been getting diarrhea so often over the past six months. It only happens whenever I do something "sneaky". My body reacts strongly to how I stress over potentially getting caught. I'm a private investigator, and I apparently need a new career. FML
Today, I developed a serious case of diarrhea. This wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't suffering from a severe cough as well. I'm terrified to cough again, because I'm running out of clean underwear. FML
Today, it's my wedding day, and I have uncontrollable diarrhea. FML
Today, my new anxiety medicine fully entered my system. It makes me shit my brains out. I can either fart and risk shitting my pants every time or I can be too anxious to even enter a public place. FML
Today, I have a job interview after months of struggling to find work. I also woke up with explosive diarrhea and can’t be away from the toilet for more than 10 minutes. FML
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Top comments
FerrariCake 2
Look at the upside... you could be a superhero, like the incredible hulk. Except instead of turning big and muscular when you get angry, you shoot toxic shit out your ass when you get nervous. Start writing your comic book adventures and get rich. In the meantime, avoid job interviews and public speaking.
Faithful_Jewel 0
That's one very unfortunate condition. Virtual hugs for you :( Very FML.
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Comments (102)
leoofbodom 0
FIRST OPMGGFDGD anyone wanna go on a date?
pwnrzero 0
it's all in ur head. like depression. unlike my aunt's pneumonia....
Ajjas013 6
Pampers anyone?
bugmenotmofo 34
Don't read about Dead Hand then basically if anything nuclear hits Russia the USA will become a radioactive wasteland. If you do want to read about it and have explosive diahrea go here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dead_Hand_%28nuclear_war%29 or here http://www.wired.com/dangerroom/2009/09/the-soviets-built-a-doomsday-machine-its-still-working/
wah_face 0
so you're like....leaking liquid poop 24/7?
FarSide 23
I would not worry about it. You should be scared shitless within 24 hours.
Kuroftw 0
I sincerely hope you're joking. Depression is a real condition. I have it and it's terrible. You have no idea what it's like wanting to kill yourself for no reason at all.
XYZzzzzzzz 0
I like the wording.
Faithful_Jewel 0
That's one very unfortunate condition. Virtual hugs for you :( Very FML.
ronton 4
yeah I get that when I get nervous too, but i didn't think it was a condition...
MrCatman1125 2
How the **** do people think she deserves this? Yeah, she totally deserves a condition that she or no one else could ever cure or prevent. I hope that everyone that put " You deserved it" gets the condition themselves. I know I'm making a big deal, but why would someone say that. I bet you think cancer victims and such deserve the bullshit they go through. **** you. That is all
daniivanity 0
that's so awful. i'm sorry. D:
FerrariCake 2
Look at the upside... you could be a superhero, like the incredible hulk. Except instead of turning big and muscular when you get angry, you shoot toxic shit out your ass when you get nervous. Start writing your comic book adventures and get rich. In the meantime, avoid job interviews and public speaking.
_Naboo_ 0
Best idea ever. That really does suck though, Take something to help yourself relax.
bballboy91 0
He shouldn't because he will become dependant of it....
grv_fml 4
incredible bulk, turns brown and releases toxic smell :)
_Naboo_ 0
No, you can take things and NOT become dependent on them.
theman000 0
I almost passed out reading number 6 or Was in nine I thing it is six but it is funny u so win number six XD
Natacha_fml 0
LOL You really made my day with this comment.
orangebunny 2
IBS?
I_GET_ASS 0
butt munch.
HarrietPotter 1
I'm so sorry! I hope you are able to find a treatment for this!
tigrouficele2012 44
Now I'm wondering if it's the same as what I have. It sounds quite similar. Doesn't manifest more than thrice in an average week, but it's not very nice. >_>
IamSpartacus 0
A true FML.
poostain 0
if i were you i would stack slamingtons on their chooglers