Today, my mother continued her lifelong habit of talking to anyone who isn't white in extremely slow, exaggerated "caveman" English. She insists that she isn't being racist, but rather is helping. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had no idea my mom was low key racist until I told her I was dating a black woman, and she told me that was fine, just as long as I didn’t do something silly like fall in love with her or let her distract me from finding a proper wife. Wow mom, just wow. FML
Today, my mother went on another long rant, detailing 20 years of bad things that we all already knew about a relative. The slightest recollection in a conversation never fails to turn into unending monologues. I can't change the past, nor the subject of conversation apparently. FML
Today, I caught my mom in the back row of one of my lectures, so I confronted her. Apparently she’s been doing this all year to make sure I’m paying attention in class and not making friends with the "wrong sort of people" (yes, she's a racist as well). I can't wait to move out of her house. FML
Today, my mother once again interrupted me and talked over me, as though I wasn't saying anything at all. Then she wondered why I remained quiet after she was done talking about her mother doing that. Must run in the family. FML
Today, I had to explain to my white girlfriend that dating me doesn't give her the right to call my mother the N-word. FML
Today, my mother yet again went on a long rant about how much of a loser I am as I have "never had boyfriend" and I'm 26. Truth is, I've been in the same relationship for over five years but it "doesn't count because he's black." FML
Today, I was stuck on a campus tour with my subtly racist mother who, in an attempt to seem open-minded, deemed it appropriate to refer to our black tour guide as "Sistah". FML
Today, I overheard my caucasian mother on the phone lamenting to a friend that her future grandchildren won’t “look American”. Any future grandchildren of hers would be half Lakota native. FML
Today, I had to slowly and very seriously explain to my mother why there is no 'White History Month'. I can't believe we are actually related. FML
Today, my mom scolded me for ruining my sister's "vacation" here. She just got deported from abroad, and was only gone for 2 months after falling for a marriage scam. Now she deludes to herself that she was born and raised there, and claims not to understand our mother tongue, calling it third world primate language. FML
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Top comments
Trupe 3
Black guy no like racist mommy. Very offensive
gabbster95 0
maybe you should start talking to her like a caveman and see how much she likes it....
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Comments (102)
JohnnySack 0
That is awfully considerate of your mother!
AyyItsPeyton 0
i talk that way to chinese people when im ordering take out
ArtIsResistance7 1
Someday they'll give you a special order: Cream of Sum-Yung-Gai.
F_MY_L1FE 0
me no likey ur ma
fourtyeightguy 0
ur mom is a dousche
Maxim1 0
my father does the same thing
earnie123 0
ur life ******* suxks
petertut 0
black i am aguy am white i wanted to be born black but it was not my choice fml
FeedtheBrood 0
hmmm.....must be some kind of minority-speak.
findley 0
I like your mom
draxmurray 1
**** the ******
booo5 1
akward :/ lol
LOveLy_LOla 0
BiiTCHHH!!!!!