Today, my mother continued her lifelong habit of talking to anyone who isn't white in extremely slow, exaggerated "caveman" English. She insists that she isn't being racist, but rather is helping. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had no idea my mom was low key racist until I told her I was dating a black woman, and she told me that was fine, just as long as I didn’t do something silly like fall in love with her or let her distract me from finding a proper wife. Wow mom, just wow. FML
Today, my mother went on another long rant, detailing 20 years of bad things that we all already knew about a relative. The slightest recollection in a conversation never fails to turn into unending monologues. I can't change the past, nor the subject of conversation apparently. FML
Today, I caught my mom in the back row of one of my lectures, so I confronted her. Apparently she’s been doing this all year to make sure I’m paying attention in class and not making friends with the "wrong sort of people" (yes, she's a racist as well). I can't wait to move out of her house. FML
Today, my mother once again interrupted me and talked over me, as though I wasn't saying anything at all. Then she wondered why I remained quiet after she was done talking about her mother doing that. Must run in the family. FML
Today, I had to explain to my white girlfriend that dating me doesn't give her the right to call my mother the N-word. FML
Today, my mother yet again went on a long rant about how much of a loser I am as I have "never had boyfriend" and I'm 26. Truth is, I've been in the same relationship for over five years but it "doesn't count because he's black." FML
Today, I was stuck on a campus tour with my subtly racist mother who, in an attempt to seem open-minded, deemed it appropriate to refer to our black tour guide as "Sistah". FML
Today, I overheard my caucasian mother on the phone lamenting to a friend that her future grandchildren won’t “look American”. Any future grandchildren of hers would be half Lakota native. FML
Today, I had to slowly and very seriously explain to my mother why there is no 'White History Month'. I can't believe we are actually related. FML
Today, my mom scolded me for ruining my sister's "vacation" here. She just got deported from abroad, and was only gone for 2 months after falling for a marriage scam. Now she deludes to herself that she was born and raised there, and claims not to understand our mother tongue, calling it third world primate language. FML
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Top comments
Trupe 3
Black guy no like racist mommy. Very offensive
gabbster95 0
maybe you should start talking to her like a caveman and see how much she likes it....
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Comments (102)
kiakia0131 23
Does your mom not realize there are non-white people that were born and raised in the United States? (And English is their main language?)
5t3ff1k4h 47
Well, looks like that's your life goal successfully completed. Now what are you going to do?
bozo92 0
hell its pretty tight that you didnt pick up any of her ignorant ways
crazyaces89 7
she's helping how exactly??
Thugnation 0
Maybe we should run a train on her
DarDarAttack 0
My god, I hate it when people do stuff like this. It really tears down your self esteem ):
Geiko_fml 0
Jeesh, that's really mean. I hate people that do that. It's mean.
MrBoomBot 0
Well maybe if most minorities didn't speak broken English she wouldn't feel she has to do that.
mindlessengineer 0
If she said that to me, I would be like "I am a second generation american. Go **** yourself"
opalitepetals 0
first off I would like to say that I am a black woman and that OP's mom might have a point (i only kid, but really.) I honestly have to dumb myself for some of my black friends because they have "ghetto" accents and cant understand a single word of properly spoken english. (they slow their speaking down for me also because I don't understand a word of what they have to say) It's still pretty racist though, lol. Op's mom reminds me of my husbands mother. She puts on this absolutely disgusting "slave accent" whenever she comes in contact with white people. Ugh. The woman who fitted me for my wedding dress was white and I had to spend 3 hours listening to my mother in law hold a grudge toward this poor woman who wasn't even alive when there were slaves (nor was my mother in law!!!) The older generations in EVERY race really don't feel comfortable with other races. (i remember my first boyfriend in highshool. His mother FLIPPED SHIT infront of me because I wasn't asian. His grandmother would never address me by my name only "black girl" in filipino. His dad liked me though, LOL. Maybe it's just the woman. I only kid of coarse.