Today, my mother continued her lifelong habit of talking to anyone who isn't white in extremely slow, exaggerated "caveman" English. She insists that she isn't being racist, but rather is helping. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had no idea my mom was low key racist until I told her I was dating a black woman, and she told me that was fine, just as long as I didn’t do something silly like fall in love with her or let her distract me from finding a proper wife. Wow mom, just wow. FML
Today, my mother went on another long rant, detailing 20 years of bad things that we all already knew about a relative. The slightest recollection in a conversation never fails to turn into unending monologues. I can't change the past, nor the subject of conversation apparently. FML
Today, I caught my mom in the back row of one of my lectures, so I confronted her. Apparently she’s been doing this all year to make sure I’m paying attention in class and not making friends with the "wrong sort of people" (yes, she's a racist as well). I can't wait to move out of her house. FML
Today, my mother once again interrupted me and talked over me, as though I wasn't saying anything at all. Then she wondered why I remained quiet after she was done talking about her mother doing that. Must run in the family. FML
Today, I had to explain to my white girlfriend that dating me doesn't give her the right to call my mother the N-word. FML
Today, my mother yet again went on a long rant about how much of a loser I am as I have "never had boyfriend" and I'm 26. Truth is, I've been in the same relationship for over five years but it "doesn't count because he's black." FML
Today, I was stuck on a campus tour with my subtly racist mother who, in an attempt to seem open-minded, deemed it appropriate to refer to our black tour guide as "Sistah". FML
Today, I overheard my caucasian mother on the phone lamenting to a friend that her future grandchildren won’t “look American”. Any future grandchildren of hers would be half Lakota native. FML
Today, I had to slowly and very seriously explain to my mother why there is no 'White History Month'. I can't believe we are actually related. FML
Today, my mom scolded me for ruining my sister's "vacation" here. She just got deported from abroad, and was only gone for 2 months after falling for a marriage scam. Now she deludes to herself that she was born and raised there, and claims not to understand our mother tongue, calling it third world primate language. FML
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Top comments
Trupe 3
Black guy no like racist mommy. Very offensive
gabbster95 0
maybe you should start talking to her like a caveman and see how much she likes it....
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Comments (102)
MyLifeIsGreat_ha 0
she is why don't nobody like white people no more...
AnonymousInLove7 0
well there ARE some people that need that.. like you know, ***** or something. I swear they have no idea how to use their brain :P
Freshmeat05 0
:/
fylkman 0
im bläck and if she did dat 2 me i would kick her daddys ass
sallen0046 4
That's not racism, it's ignorance. She was taught to be this way, and has never had need to learn otherwise. While I don't agree with it, I myself have encountered more than one individual that chooses to up play their stereotypical role of uneducated non-white person, and until people stop doing that, people like your mother will always exist, believing them to be genuine. You are not your mother's keeper. If you're embarrassed of her, stop introducing her to people. At least you haven't chosen to pick up your mother's learned ignorance.
countrybaby1994 0
sorry bout my last comment (171) it wa meabt for something else. lol
countrybaby1994 0
@124 just cause your born in the US doesnt mean your american. it means you were born in a country other than your own! you are whatever race your two parents are.
TastyLumpia 0
American isn't a race.
dickbombay 0
your mother is a hag):
K_Roxxie 0
if ur mom ever did that to me, i would tell her 2 kiss my native american ass!!!
pcakewafflebacon 0
that's pretty stupid cuz all of my Latino friends know English better than me... and I'm white with English as a first language