Today, I had to slowly and very seriously explain to my mother why there is no 'White History Month'. I can't believe we are actually related. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had to explain to my white girlfriend that dating me doesn't give her the right to call my mother the N-word. FML
Today, because no one else was willing to, I had to explain to my uncle that he's white, that I'm not his grandfather, and that he's mentally challenged. FML
Today, I had to slowly explain to my mother that Americans are not the only people who celebrate Christmas. FML
Today, I had no idea my mom was low key racist until I told her I was dating a black woman, and she told me that was fine, just as long as I didn’t do something silly like fall in love with her or let her distract me from finding a proper wife. Wow mom, just wow. FML
Today, I had to explain to multiple people that even though I'm white, I have no interest in joining a hate group. FML
Today, my mother was re-enrolling me in school so she was required to fill out some paperwork. Later, she asked me, "What does caucasian mean?" I replied, "Why?" Apparently she didn't recognize the word, so she checked "Other" and wrote in "White". FML
Today, my mother continued her lifelong habit of talking to anyone who isn't white in extremely slow, exaggerated "caveman" English. She insists that she isn't being racist, but rather is helping. FML
Today, my mother yet again went on a long rant about how much of a loser I am as I have "never had boyfriend" and I'm 26. Truth is, I've been in the same relationship for over five years but it "doesn't count because he's black." FML
Today, I had to put my little sister to bed. Usually my mom sings her a lullaby before she puts her to sleep, so I did too. After I finished the song, my sister looked me dead in the eyes and said, "This is why I tell people we aren't related." FML
Today, I was stuck on a campus tour with my subtly racist mother who, in an attempt to seem open-minded, deemed it appropriate to refer to our black tour guide as "Sistah". FML
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Top comments
poopface82 25
I agree with your mom. Betty White deserves her own history month, and there would be no greater way to honor a national treasure in her death than proclaiming January, the month of her birth, National Month to Honor Betty White and Tell Her Story, or simply White History Month for short.
RichardPencil 32
If you learn the standard curriculum, there are 12 white history months every year.
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Comments (3)
RichardPencil 32
If you learn the standard curriculum, there are 12 white history months every year.
poopface82 25
I agree with your mom. Betty White deserves her own history month, and there would be no greater way to honor a national treasure in her death than proclaiming January, the month of her birth, National Month to Honor Betty White and Tell Her Story, or simply White History Month for short.
RichardPencil 32
Well, what about Reggie, Jaleel, and Shaun? The tag line for White History Month could be, "Did I do that?"
eellik 12
I'd honestly like to hear that reasoning.
turnabouttrial 21
it's because white history is anything but suppressed in public school. when black or indigenous history is finally mentioned in school, it's often highly sanitized to the point where it's unrecognizable or downright wrong. the best time to reverse this by designating a month to have American kids learn what they weren't properly taught was yesterday. you can have Irish, Scottish, Polish, Italian, German, Russian, Finnish, Spanish, and Danish history months, go right ahead, I promise you, no one will stop you. but white history month? that's already every month.