Today, my mother continued her lifelong habit of talking to anyone who isn't white in extremely slow, exaggerated "caveman" English. She insists that she isn't being racist, but rather is helping. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had no idea my mom was low key racist until I told her I was dating a black woman, and she told me that was fine, just as long as I didn’t do something silly like fall in love with her or let her distract me from finding a proper wife. Wow mom, just wow. FML
Today, my mother went on another long rant, detailing 20 years of bad things that we all already knew about a relative. The slightest recollection in a conversation never fails to turn into unending monologues. I can't change the past, nor the subject of conversation apparently. FML
Today, I caught my mom in the back row of one of my lectures, so I confronted her. Apparently she’s been doing this all year to make sure I’m paying attention in class and not making friends with the "wrong sort of people" (yes, she's a racist as well). I can't wait to move out of her house. FML
Today, my mother once again interrupted me and talked over me, as though I wasn't saying anything at all. Then she wondered why I remained quiet after she was done talking about her mother doing that. Must run in the family. FML
Today, I had to explain to my white girlfriend that dating me doesn't give her the right to call my mother the N-word. FML
Today, my mother yet again went on a long rant about how much of a loser I am as I have "never had boyfriend" and I'm 26. Truth is, I've been in the same relationship for over five years but it "doesn't count because he's black." FML
Today, I was stuck on a campus tour with my subtly racist mother who, in an attempt to seem open-minded, deemed it appropriate to refer to our black tour guide as "Sistah". FML
Today, I overheard my caucasian mother on the phone lamenting to a friend that her future grandchildren won’t “look American”. Any future grandchildren of hers would be half Lakota native. FML
Today, I had to slowly and very seriously explain to my mother why there is no 'White History Month'. I can't believe we are actually related. FML
Today, my mom scolded me for ruining my sister's "vacation" here. She just got deported from abroad, and was only gone for 2 months after falling for a marriage scam. Now she deludes to herself that she was born and raised there, and claims not to understand our mother tongue, calling it third world primate language. FML
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Top comments
Trupe 3
Black guy no like racist mommy. Very offensive
gabbster95 0
maybe you should start talking to her like a caveman and see how much she likes it....
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Comments (102)
jasmineee818 0
Thats It..... Im A Offended Mexican, xO hahaha Its Too Late To Apoligize xD
TastyLumpia 0
My mother was born in Asia, but she learned English in elementary school, moved to the US when she was nine, and became a citizen shortly afterwards. She's very well-spoken, and has no accent whatsoever (I've actually asked people if she does, just in case I might be too accustomed to her accent to hear it. They've confirmed that she sounds 100% American.). She's gotten comments from teenagers: "Wow, your English is perfect!" "Well, I've been American longer than YOU have." Just the other day, we were at a family friend's party when this woman came up to us and started asking what ethnicity we were, and complimented my mother on her fluency, saying, "I get my nails done by Vietnamese, but I can't understand a damn thing they say!" Needless to say, my entire family was dumbfounded. We later learned that this woman had asked the hostess, "How do you know that beautiful foreign family?" and "Did they bring their own special foreign food?"
TheTwilightPoet 0
I......hope.....your.....mother....gets....what's..coming.....to....her. SHE'S A RETARD. In fact, it makes her look stupid rather than being helpful =]
TaNmKm 0
Hahaha, that is quite funny. You should return the favor.
thebrando 0
hahaha, sounds like something I would do.
tiffanyjean 3
heehee I'll speak slowly around my friends who are white and talk norm round diff culture friends
pumpkinstupid 0
lol sorry that is not so cool or funny... I though those people who talked to me slowly were patient people... guess they were just being helpful!!! I am yellow!!!
FeedtheBrood 0
People in the older generation usually are pretty racist. It's a sign of their times, and for the most part it's harmless and even a little cute, in a folksy kind of way.
imhowie 2
Why is this an FML? How does it affect your life?
LightningLadyy 0
TEARS OF JOY!!! :'D