Today, my mother continued her lifelong habit of talking to anyone who isn't white in extremely slow, exaggerated "caveman" English. She insists that she isn't being racist, but rather is helping. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had no idea my mom was low key racist until I told her I was dating a black woman, and she told me that was fine, just as long as I didn’t do something silly like fall in love with her or let her distract me from finding a proper wife. Wow mom, just wow. FML
Today, my mother went on another long rant, detailing 20 years of bad things that we all already knew about a relative. The slightest recollection in a conversation never fails to turn into unending monologues. I can't change the past, nor the subject of conversation apparently. FML
Today, I caught my mom in the back row of one of my lectures, so I confronted her. Apparently she’s been doing this all year to make sure I’m paying attention in class and not making friends with the "wrong sort of people" (yes, she's a racist as well). I can't wait to move out of her house. FML
Today, my mother once again interrupted me and talked over me, as though I wasn't saying anything at all. Then she wondered why I remained quiet after she was done talking about her mother doing that. Must run in the family. FML
Today, I had to explain to my white girlfriend that dating me doesn't give her the right to call my mother the N-word. FML
Today, my mother yet again went on a long rant about how much of a loser I am as I have "never had boyfriend" and I'm 26. Truth is, I've been in the same relationship for over five years but it "doesn't count because he's black." FML
Today, I was stuck on a campus tour with my subtly racist mother who, in an attempt to seem open-minded, deemed it appropriate to refer to our black tour guide as "Sistah". FML
Today, I overheard my caucasian mother on the phone lamenting to a friend that her future grandchildren won’t “look American”. Any future grandchildren of hers would be half Lakota native. FML
Today, I had to slowly and very seriously explain to my mother why there is no 'White History Month'. I can't believe we are actually related. FML
Today, my mom scolded me for ruining my sister's "vacation" here. She just got deported from abroad, and was only gone for 2 months after falling for a marriage scam. Now she deludes to herself that she was born and raised there, and claims not to understand our mother tongue, calling it third world primate language. FML
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Top comments
Trupe 3
Black guy no like racist mommy. Very offensive
gabbster95 0
maybe you should start talking to her like a caveman and see how much she likes it....
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Comments (102)
yolie_fml 0
At least she isn't saying it super loud.
Person1233 13
FYL. Wouldn't you think the OP would be racist as well if their mother is like this? You're lucky...
Juan_M 0
HAHA I love when that happens to me.
jaycro 0
ha ha I love racism
Mirorbo 27
Good heavens... Well... She'll eventually figure out she's actually being racist. I just hope the poor darling doesn't get seriously hurt in the process.
SapphireSympathy 7
omg. my mom is so racist too. except we're asian. so really, its just wow mom. she doesnt like mexicans, white ppl, blacks, indians. and im like mom! stop being so racist. shes like. im stating my opinon. its not like they can hear me! which is true. so i asked who's left in the world u like?? she said ASIANS!!!! =/
5t3ff1k4h 47
Dacey?
DncrHap 9
that is just so great, 77. everyone is a better person for knowing that.
DncrHap 9
sarcasm never cares about motive.
tentakulls 1
same with my parents, ugh.
XZero_fml 0
lol!!! it seems she wants Asians to rule the world!! THE WOOOOORLD!!!!
derschadenfreude 5
yeah, 21, asians are the most racist people in the world, especially chinese, followed very closely by indians. you don't know racism until you hear north indians bitching about south indians and vica versa. we leave white racists in the dust
XZero_fml 0
that's scary to know. I've known some pretty racist white people.
derschadenfreude 5
yeah, 157, it does kind of suck. I'm third generation, though, so I'm not much more racist than any normal american. it is kind of embarrassing sometimes
pop_a_squat 2
I feel you 21. Except my mom is Nigerian, and she hates all white people. And she likes to voice her opinion about it to our family OFTEN. It's quite ironic how she's always telling us how not to trust white people, that they're all racist, when she's probably more racist than alot of them. Maybe she's the one I can't trust...
buttshapedfruit 0
wrong! nobodys more racist than white ppl and Asians .
crazycat123 0
um, #10? burrito...? anyway, if she says that again, say "mom, you know those geico commercials? well, the cavemen are WHITE." then walk away.
vivienmleigh 0
You're mom sounds like a winner.
NeatNit 33
"You are mom sounds like a winner" = what you just said. It's YOUR. YOUR mom sounds like a winner. No e and no '.
lailax3 0
I just looove the grammar police educating the world 1 person at a time... :)
emilily23421 0
51- you ARE my hero.
GeneralCha 3
I'm guessing there's a 25% chance auto correct is to blame.
DncrHap 9
i'm so sorry for all the times you have probably been beaten up because of her. and all the times your house has been egged or tp'd. and all the nasty notes you've gotten. and all the dates you've lost.
Psiren 0
kinda wish I was Asian 21 is pretty hot
Psiren 0
how? I don't turn 18 for a few more months I got time and there's no way to tell if she's young or not your ignorant
DncrHap 9
i agree with the first part of 48. i say FMLers should private message the hotties they find oh so appealing. because there are a lot of cuties. and more private messages means less spam! and spam isn't cute. ): so people of the world: message the sexy. (this was spawned from "Then, keep it to yourself.")
5t3ff1k4h 47
53, especially when you get to see all the creepers say at the same time "OMG GUYS! LOOK AT HER BEWBS! SHE'S SO HAWT!" It gets old after a while. Inbox, away!
DncrHap 9
eeeeexactly, 57. thanks for backing me up on this one.
DncrHap 9
yes, yes. i did. "youre" stupid not "your stupid." (my stupid what? ha. ha. ha.) but since i was just responding to the first part, i thought i'd make it clear.
DncrHap 9
haha, i know what you were doing. i'm just saying that i understood the second part of your "48" comment. because you seemed to think i didn't. (:
DncrHap 9
right. because my comment was in regard to the first sentence of your comment. and then you thought that i didn't understand the second part (because apparently i just exude "bimbo." :p). so i showed you that i did. i never called you an asshole! or ignorant. :(
DncrHap 9
i... yes! we're besties. :D
DncrHap 9
oh. fine then. we're frenemies. final offer.
5t3ff1k4h 47
^^ Friends with benefits.
DncrHap 9
hahaha. don't think my boyfriend would approve. ;)
DncrHap 9
huh. i have no idea how this ended up happening. but, uh... cool.
DncrHap 9
noooo. but i recently had a tonsillectomy so i am jacked up on percocet. hellz yes.