Today, my mom walked in on me masturbating. She didnt look away and we stared at each other for a while; then she asked me what I wanted from McDonalds. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mom came in my bedroom without knocking, even though I'd told her to, and caught me masturbating. She stood there in awkward silence before saying, "…Dinner's ready at 6." and left. FML
Today, my mother caught me masturbating. Trying to defuse the awkward tension, I said "Oh, I was just thinking about you!" Not a good idea. FML
Today, my mom walked in on me jerking it in her bathroom. I'm a 40 year-old man and she's 68. FML
Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML
Today, I walked in on my mom masturbating. I want to run away. I feel violated. FML
Today, I was in my room with the door locked and my mom knocked on the door. I said "don't come in, i'm naked!" She said "That's okay!" so she unlocked the door and walked in. I was masturbating. FML
Today, I walked in on my mother rubbing one out. For the third time. I then had to explain to her, also for the third time, why pleasuring herself in the living room is inappropriate. FML
Today, my mom opens at McDonald's, and I go with her to chill before walking to the bus stop. The lobby was closed. I had to shit so bad, I was knocking on the door, and usually they let me in, but nobody noticed. I had to shit so incredibly bad. so… I went into the car and found an old McDonald's cup and some napkins… FML
Today, as I walked into McDonald's with my mom, she glanced at me and said, "Smells like your future." FML
Today, my soon-to-be mother-in-law walked in on me masturbating, in my own house. FML
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Top comments
SkoomaKi 28
You should have finished like a man in front of her. What's even more awkward is that she stared. Incest?
sparklemuffin 8
lol what a win
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Comments (319)
linkinpark98 24
Did you tell her get you some napkins?
kingferret53 0
Doors have a lock for a reason. -_-
dreamer9614 3
Not all of them
pagullarka 9
Please add somewhere that she is your stepmother, please it will make the fml much better.
TheOG_fml 3
Your moms a freak,staring at ya dick.....your probably bigger then ya father,& she got turned on.Thats some Jerry Springer Shit......
xXxIracebethxXx 14
115 - Let me start off by saying you are not "TheOG". in fact, you're the complete damn opposite of an original gangster. You're obviously too stupid to even comprehend and/or grasp the real meaning of an OG. Second, the **** is up with your comment? It's full of failure, illiteracy, and stupidity left and right, up and down, inside and out. Go back to elementary school. Third, the mother raised her ******* son, she has seen his genitals plenty of times as a child. This was a situation where she was staring because she was SHOCKED and it was AWKWARD, not because she got mother ******* turned on. Fourth, GTFO with your stupid ass "Jerry Springer shit". "Your moms" and "ya father" must be ******* proud to have an ignorant, illiterate child.
t765234 10
If he's a real "OG" his father probably abandoned him and his crackhead mother as soon as she got pregnant. Or maybe I'm just assuming things because I hate you and all of your kind.
OHai15 12
whats his kind exactlly?
lionheartkristy 7
Ummmmm nice *barf*
KiddNYC1O 22
I bet she craves the Big N Tasty.
sampson12 0
Umm... That's kinda.... Weird??? ?
mikekern69 3
you were dumb enough to do it while she was home...
thetoxiclion 4
You should ask her to swing past KFC and pick you up a Fappé (heheh.... See what I did there? Heheheh....... Ok, I'll shut up now.)
Darcon 8
she wanted meat