Today, my mom walked in on me masturbating. She didnt look away and we stared at each other for a while; then she asked me what I wanted from McDonalds. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mom came in my bedroom without knocking, even though I'd told her to, and caught me masturbating. She stood there in awkward silence before saying, "…Dinner's ready at 6." and left. FML
Today, my mother caught me masturbating. Trying to defuse the awkward tension, I said "Oh, I was just thinking about you!" Not a good idea. FML
Today, my mom walked in on me jerking it in her bathroom. I'm a 40 year-old man and she's 68. FML
Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML
Today, I walked in on my mom masturbating. I want to run away. I feel violated. FML
Today, I was in my room with the door locked and my mom knocked on the door. I said "don't come in, i'm naked!" She said "That's okay!" so she unlocked the door and walked in. I was masturbating. FML
Today, I walked in on my mother rubbing one out. For the third time. I then had to explain to her, also for the third time, why pleasuring herself in the living room is inappropriate. FML
Today, my mom opens at McDonald's, and I go with her to chill before walking to the bus stop. The lobby was closed. I had to shit so bad, I was knocking on the door, and usually they let me in, but nobody noticed. I had to shit so incredibly bad. so… I went into the car and found an old McDonald's cup and some napkins… FML
Today, as I walked into McDonald's with my mom, she glanced at me and said, "Smells like your future." FML
Today, my soon-to-be mother-in-law walked in on me masturbating, in my own house. FML
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Top comments
SkoomaKi 28
You should have finished like a man in front of her. What's even more awkward is that she stared. Incest?
sparklemuffin 8
lol what a win
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Comments (319)
lifesucks283 1
look her in the eyes ask for a big mac and finish like a boss
itje023 0
semen milkshake please
egorus 0
How is this an FML???
badactor009 0
Insanity wolf says to maintain eye contact and finish like a boss.
badactor009 0
Your Mom told all her friends and some of your relatives. Have fun with that.
Brownie101abc 7
I seem to be the only guy where this hasn't happened to me yet...
ThatEmoVeganChic 0
At least she is okay with you masturbating.
jaredofmo 22
Your mom is awesome. My mom can't even imagine her kids masturbating, though she does want grandkids. (Too bad I'm gay...)
misterjez 15
Yes because we really asked to know that.
jaredofmo 22
You're welcome!
Stupend0us 7
I don't understand how people manage to get caught. I mostly did it after my mom was asleep for a while. Sometimes I would do it during the day but only in the bathroom with the door locked and fan on so maybe people thought I was crapping.
ToxiicJewz 0
At least your mom's cool xD