Today, my mom walked in on me masturbating. She didnt look away and we stared at each other for a while; then she asked me what I wanted from McDonalds. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mom came in my bedroom without knocking, even though I'd told her to, and caught me masturbating. She stood there in awkward silence before saying, "…Dinner's ready at 6." and left. FML
Today, my mother caught me masturbating. Trying to defuse the awkward tension, I said "Oh, I was just thinking about you!" Not a good idea. FML
Today, my mom walked in on me jerking it in her bathroom. I'm a 40 year-old man and she's 68. FML
Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML
Today, I walked in on my mom masturbating. I want to run away. I feel violated. FML
Today, I was in my room with the door locked and my mom knocked on the door. I said "don't come in, i'm naked!" She said "That's okay!" so she unlocked the door and walked in. I was masturbating. FML
Today, I walked in on my mother rubbing one out. For the third time. I then had to explain to her, also for the third time, why pleasuring herself in the living room is inappropriate. FML
Today, my mom opens at McDonald's, and I go with her to chill before walking to the bus stop. The lobby was closed. I had to shit so bad, I was knocking on the door, and usually they let me in, but nobody noticed. I had to shit so incredibly bad. so… I went into the car and found an old McDonald's cup and some napkins… FML
Today, as I walked into McDonald's with my mom, she glanced at me and said, "Smells like your future." FML
Today, my soon-to-be mother-in-law walked in on me masturbating, in my own house. FML
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Top comments
SkoomaKi 28
You should have finished like a man in front of her. What's even more awkward is that she stared. Incest?
sparklemuffin 8
lol what a win
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Comments (319)
missL1z 5
Must be just as awkward for her! She was probably in shock! FHL too!
RBntM 10
Why didn't you lock your door?
madelinebriana 11
Some bedroom doors don't have locks! Mine doesn't
MysticKnight 3
39 - so how do you do it
FML_Master2133 6
I go in the bathroom
instnt1nfction 17
"want a juicy breast..oh umm.. I mean.. Uh how about a couple of nuggets.. Maybe a fishstick.."
Angelrose2004 17
Fish stick with nuggets would make him sound gay though. I think he's better off asking for the breast. :)
xXxIracebethxXx 14
25 - Are you ******* retarded? So, if for some stupid reason I went by your fucktard logic and I ordered chicken breasts, that would make me a lesbian?
mcinnesandrew 6
Caaaalm Down noone is saying you're a lesbian
simonsaysYDI 8
128 - By your logic every joke is a completely serious statement Calm down lesbo
Angelrose2004 17
128, No need to be a bitch! It was a crappy joke about a fish stick with nuggets look like a penis and balls. So it wasn't funny. Get the stick out of your ass, would ya?
cwj 1
Should have asked her for a Fappy Meal.
heyheysmile 0
LMFAOO
ttttttyyy 0
With extra napkins! :-)
tsyou7132 0
The funniest comment I've ever read
simpleman124 1
Win
Jacquelinia 6
Did you at least try to cover yourself? I just imagined you freezing and not moving while staring at your mom D=
pdawg101 8
Maybe she wants to borrow the vibrator now!
katcot99 11
Vibrator? What? Im lost. Why would she want that...
kcutie 0
Maybe She asumes OP is a girl?
indistructo 3
why would she stare? does she want you?;)
nadnerbz 6
Tell her you don't need any mayo, you already have it
brookedenardo 4
bahahahahahahahahaha
alicekittykatt 0
...um ok that's very awkward just be like oh I um had a rash... I read that umm.. rubbing and stroking is good for it
MilkShakez 0
Look her in the eyes and finish, like a boss.