Today, my mom had one too many and announced to all of my friends that, if she had the opportunity, she would bang Gwen Stefani. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mom told me I'm the reason she's going to kill herself one day. FML
Today, my mother lectured me about going to the bar too often. She did this while rolling a joint. FML
Today, I overheard my girlfriend telling her friend, "Actually, it's a good thing she died, she was quite a bitch." She was talking about my mother. FML
Today, my mom decided it was a good idea to remind me about my non-existent sex life while all the family was having dinner. FML
Today, I saw myself in a 'girls gone wild' ad with another girl. So did my mom. FML
Today, my mom got drunk and tried to push me off a ladder. FML
Today, my mother and I got into a huge fight about me being a lesbian. It ended with me saying "Fuck you!" to which she responded: "I bet you'd probably like to." FML
Today, I had a show with my drama group. My mom isn't a good drunk, she decided to scream along to every song and pass out halfway through. She was in the front row. FML
Today, while my friends were over, my mom took too many of her pills and walked around the house nude. She then bit me. FML
Today, my mom got drunk and started crying, ranting about all the things she could have done in life if I hadn't been born. FML
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Top comments
Peroxide 3
That shit is BANANAS!
akiro525 3
who wouldn't?
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Comments (152)
cucuto89 0
Cool Story BRo
AUT_student 0
shouldn't this go to that my life is great website?? You friends must love you....a MILF wanting to do Gwen Stefani....FTW FTW FTW FTW!!!! How can this in ANY way be a bad thing??
rallets 23
thats a FAIL youre doing it wrong
kmknotek 0
i would **** gwen stefani tooo....
FPsLife 5
*Searches frantically for who cares button* At least she wasn't coming on to you. ... or was that what you wanted?
lottofee 0
so what?
genius_man16 1
^^ My care cup is so empty it's a ******* black hole
heyyou1203 0
exactly. How does this f your life? So maybe your mom embarrassed u in front of ppl? Big deal.
Pirate_argh 6
Agree with #2. Sorry, but my care-o-meter just hit ZERO
Peroxide 3
That shit is BANANAS!
dinosaursmoo 0
Bahahah XD You just made my day.
Frolly_fml 0
Cool mom.
starflake 3
Awh, your Mom is awesome!
akiro525 3
who wouldn't?
crystalbluewolf 3
yeah at least she picked someone of good taste.
xX_LilSammie_Xx 4
My thoughts exactly -Who wouldn't.
AntiChrist7 0
if she bangs GS, tape it and put it online.
Aray 0
oh my god that's ****** hahaha!