Today, I spent my entire day off making a brisket. It had been cooking for 8 hours when, just before dinner, I went for a quick jog. In that time my girlfriend came home and ruined it by trying to make it the way she wanted. I'm a chef and she's an office worker. We couldn't eat it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I burned dinner because my girlfriend was yelling for me to help with a trivial problem. To salvage things, I ordered pizza. She spent the rest of the evening moaning that I ruined dinner, that we don't eat healthy, and that I "make us" waste money on food. FML
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. Being a chef of a highly-rated restaurant, I cooked a well-liked dish. Not only did she say no, but commented on how bland and tasteless the meal was. FML
Today, my in-laws were visiting from Texas, so I made a brisket, smoked for 10 hours on the barbecue, and it was perfect. Alas, when my husband cut the meat, he burst a perfectly cooked cyst the size of a lemon that stank the whole house out. FML
Today, I spent a solid four hours and over one hundred dollars preparing a nice fancy meal for my new girlfriend. A delicious three pound rack of ribs with a sweet and sour marinade. Steam broccoli with melted cheese. Home made buttermilk biscuits. I serve the meal. She doesn't eat beef. FML
Today, my girlfriend bitched that we spend too much money on food, and needed to start cooking to save money. I got home from work and started dinner. Halfway through, my girlfriend sighed and said, "This is taking too long, I'll order pizza." FML
Today, I tried a new recipe for dinner. However, the recipe was written by someone with a penchant for overly dramatic storytelling. I spent the entire evening deciphering the narrative while desperately trying to salvage a dish that ultimately tasted like disappointment. FML
Today, I found a recipe online that looked delicious and not too complicated. Halfway through cooking, I realized I was reading the instructions for two different recipes and had combined them into one horrific dish. The resulting meal tasted like burnt cardboard mixed with regret. My girlfriend ended up ordering takeout. FML
Today, I spent an hour making my favorite work lunches, then portioning them out so I could have them all week. I later came home to a pile of empty containers. My girlfriend said, "Sorry, I got the munchies. Also, can you please do the dishes?" FML
Today, I cooked dinner for my boyfriend, hoping to impress him with my culinary skills. I burnt the garlic bread, overcooked the chicken, and managed to set off the smoke alarm three times. When I finally served the meal, my boyfriend said, "It's like a sad buffet at a middle school prom." FML
Today, I tried making homemade bread, just for fun. My girlfriend started yelling that we had perfectly good bread from the store, "but noooo, my boyfriend just HAS to make his own bread!" She ended up ruining the experience, so I just threw the dough in the garbage and went to get drunk. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
A real chef would have protected his brisket to the end. To make the truly divine brisket, one must sacrifice their petty physical needs, like sleep, sex, exercise, etc. This is why excellent brisket is rare.
Charlie Given 28
Damn she touched your meat time for a respectful new girlfriend 🤔😐
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Comments (29)
real life problems 26
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
It's the thought that counts, she wanted to do something nice and surprising.
Jerry Leberer 12
not true, don't ever mess with someone else's creation when it's in progress
shellzy 20
If that were the case, she’d buy her own damn brisket and cook it herself, not butcher something that someone else was working on.
real life problems 26
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I must be the only one that wouldnt get mad over something like this. Y'all are ruthless to your partners.
shellzy 20
Yeah because the rest of us are normal and would actually be upset about the blatant disrespect shown for our hard work so she could commandeer something we created so she could have it her own way.
real life problems 26
You call it normal I call it batshit crazy to get mad over a ruined meal. That's just stupid to get mad over and fight over
chosha_fml 27
Why wouldn’t you be mad? She did something rude and inconsiderate.
real life problems 26
I would never be mad over a meal lol it's just food, I dont see it as rude or inconsiderate, I see it as an attempt to do something nice and it went sideways. I would laugh it off and cook something else together.
Cali 57
I doubt you'd still think it was "just a brisket" after spending 8 hours working on it!
rodfergie 18
No... Behavior like that means one of two things. She's a control freak, or just a spoiled brat that wants things the way she wants them, and screw everybody else.
real life problems 26
First of all cali, it's not like he literally stood in front of the oven for 8 hours without looking away. Secondly it's just a meal. What if it turned out to taste amazing, would people still be mad about it? I see a nice attempt gone wrong, a funny story for both to laugh at and eat something else. Seriously arguing over something like this, half of you are taking your partners for granted
Charlie Given 28
Damn she touched your meat time for a respectful new girlfriend 🤔😐
RichardPencil 32
A real chef would have protected his brisket to the end. To make the truly divine brisket, one must sacrifice their petty physical needs, like sleep, sex, exercise, etc. This is why excellent brisket is rare.
PenguinPal3017 19
Reminds me of the girlfriend who boiled expensive steaks.
Cooper201288 16
I could not have dated someone like that. Grilled or broiled only. rare to medium rare. anything else is unacceptable for steaks.
PenguinPal3017 19
She didn't actually like her steaks boiled, she was just ignorant as to how steaks are prepared, and so ruined the steaks in her attempt.
Niall Hutchinson 8
Just reading that made me cringe 😵
rodfergie 18
My mom grew up with that is how you did a steak. They were dirt poor, and bought the crappiest cuts of red meat, and that was the only way to make them where you could actually chew them. When she first met my dad, she refused to eat steak, because she thought it was gross. Then he fed her a grilled New York, and that was all it took for her to appreciate steak
Kurliez408 32
ydi for leaving a working oven on when nobody's home
raven_of_azarath 35
Well considering brisket is typically cooked in a smoker outside, I think OP was fine to go for a quick run.
cbchawks 14
how do you **** up a brisket that's pretty much done cooking?
Xatraris 38
Depending on the size of the brisket it barely hit the halfway mark
Cali 57
I imagined her chopping it up and covering it in ketchup or hot sauce, but I really don't know. I hope OP posts a follow-up!
KittyMack 13
So, you threw the whole thing away and started fresh, right? I mean the girlfriend not the beef. Seriously, she has packed SO MUCH disrespect into one act! Doesn't accept that you are a cooking expert. Is willing to steal your project out from under you without permission (that would be weird even if she had not ruined it). She wasted all those hours of your precious free time that you'd devoted to the project so she clearly doesn't value your time. And she seems to imagine her skills are far superior to what they really are- likely a self absorbed brat. Seriously, just throw away the entire girlfriend.
dwight7476 11
You should make her buy you dinner
Tony Friddle 11
tha... that's just sacrilegious. prayers for your fallen brisket man.
Taurus_ChicKa 37
As a chef, shouldn't you know to never leave a stove or oven unattended? Should have stayed there!