Today, I had a coffee date. The guy was waiting with coffee to meet me on the patio. I walked up to him, caught my favorite pendant necklace on the table, broke the necklace trying to get it free, and rattled the table so intensely that the guy's coffee spilled all over him. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went on a coffee date with the man I've been in love with for a while. Before I knew what was going on, he'd started chatting up a pretty girl sitting nearby. I had to drink my coffee alone while he got her number. FML
Today, I went on a coffee date with a guy I'm interested in. He picked up his phone mid-date to finalize dinner plans with another girl. FML
Today, I was drinking coffee out of my favorite mug, when it slipped out of my hand. I caught it, but not before most of the hot coffee spilled all over my lap. In reaction, I dropped the mug again, shattering it. FML
Today, I went to a restaurant with my boyfriend. Within seconds of getting my drink, I spilled it all over the table and my scarf. When the waiter was helping clean up the spill, he knocked over my boyfriend's drink. All over my pants. FML
Today, while on a date with the guy of my dreams, I cut my tongue so bad it bled for an hour. I managed to cut it on the plastic spoon from my coffee. FML
Today, I went to a coffee shop to meet a potential client. As soon as I sat down, I knocked my coffee over, and it splashed all over my lap. I tried to play it off by making a joke, but I hadn’t brought a spare pair of pants, and the client turned up just as I was mopping my crotch with paper towels. FML
Today, on my way out of a coffee shop, I tripped over a curb while holding a full cup of coffee. The coffee flew in slow motion, hitting a stranger right in the face. As I stood there, frozen, I realized the puddle of coffee was now surrounding both of us. All I could do was apologize while trying to avoid a public fistfight. FML
Today, I was on a date with my boyfriend when he suddenly got down on one knee and proposed. A waiter tripped over him and spilled our food all over him. FML
Today, I went on a date with someone I really like. Midway through dinner, I felt something stuck in my teeth and, trying to be discreet, attempted to remove it. In the process, I flicked a piece of food across the table and it landed in his drink. He looked at it, then at me, then sighed. FML
Today, I went on a coffee date. It turned out to be a mistake - not because he was bad, but because I forgot how much coffee upsets my stomach. Yup, it makes me need to poop, and I did. In my jeans. As he drove me home. Not quite the "run" of fun we’d planned. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Jimboom 12
Unless you were at a lower level than the table or the pendant was on a long ass necklace there is no way you could have caught it on the table just by walking past it. Unless you walk with as hunch or something in which case you have worse problems than just this.
monsooneth 0
It might have happened too fast for him to try and help.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (61)
Huevo_fml 0
nice going
MasterModeraor 0
sounds like things r going along well
flomysta9 0
if you would have stayed in the kitchen like a good female, this wouldn't have ever happened. ;)
meepmerp 20
Sexist asshole
permanentxmarker 0
If he was a nicer guy, he wouldve helped you get the necklace outt. he deserves to have coffee spilled on him. yeeeeeh. [;
monsooneth 0
It might have happened too fast for him to try and help.
crownme 0
#2 I didn't think of that but your absolutely correct lol
MeganH0LLYW00D 0
Hahahahha. x)
Pirate_argh 6
Hope you had a nice date
Klee999 0
Maybe it was a nice way to break the ice?
plethora 3
Or melt it entirely.
Katzilla_dances 0
Oh well, laugh about it. If you can laugh at yourself you will never feel ashamed (:
melikeulongtime 4
Confused! After walking up to him, you stepped on the table and caught your necklace???
twindaddy 0
Is this a romantic comedy?
elle12 0
yeah but at the end of those they end up together....
Sappheyes 0
Well I hope only the chain was broken, and he wasn't burned! In the future it might be easier to unlatch the chain and take it off first.
bhatia26 0
good work
hawkiiz 0
so... did he have a boner?