Today, my mom had one too many and announced to all of my friends that, if she had the opportunity, she would bang Gwen Stefani. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mom told me I'm the reason she's going to kill herself one day. FML
Today, my mother lectured me about going to the bar too often. She did this while rolling a joint. FML
Today, I overheard my girlfriend telling her friend, "Actually, it's a good thing she died, she was quite a bitch." She was talking about my mother. FML
Today, my mom decided it was a good idea to remind me about my non-existent sex life while all the family was having dinner. FML
Today, I saw myself in a 'girls gone wild' ad with another girl. So did my mom. FML
Today, my mom got drunk and tried to push me off a ladder. FML
Today, my mother and I got into a huge fight about me being a lesbian. It ended with me saying "Fuck you!" to which she responded: "I bet you'd probably like to." FML
Today, I had a show with my drama group. My mom isn't a good drunk, she decided to scream along to every song and pass out halfway through. She was in the front row. FML
Today, while my friends were over, my mom took too many of her pills and walked around the house nude. She then bit me. FML
Today, my mom got drunk and started crying, ranting about all the things she could have done in life if I hadn't been born. FML
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Top comments
Peroxide 3
That shit is BANANAS!
akiro525 3
who wouldn't?
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Comments (152)
weakly 0
I'm stone cold sober and I would nail Gwen Stefani.
Shunnabunich 2
Can't honestly say I disagree with the woman.
lexieloo 0
I would bang Gwen Stefani any day
audax 0
Have to say, I don't think I'd bang her, but I would have sex with her.
nanxi 30
Lmao.
mandyreid_ 0
I would bang her too, Gwen Stefani is ******* sexy.
Tori_xoxo 0
Rawr. Gwen is kinda hawt. ;D
Bostonbro15 1
I'm sorry, but are you ******* retarded. So when a guy is courteous, gentlemanly, and selfless, that's called sexism?
fuckthatsucks 0
pff. when my mom is drunk she tells our furniture she love them more then me. wanting to bang Gwen Stefani is nothing :D
angeljesso 1
This is the mother I aspire to be. This is just before I become a cougar.