Today, my mom had one too many and announced to all of my friends that, if she had the opportunity, she would bang Gwen Stefani. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mom told me I'm the reason she's going to kill herself one day. FML
Today, my mother lectured me about going to the bar too often. She did this while rolling a joint. FML
Today, I overheard my girlfriend telling her friend, "Actually, it's a good thing she died, she was quite a bitch." She was talking about my mother. FML
Today, my mom decided it was a good idea to remind me about my non-existent sex life while all the family was having dinner. FML
Today, I saw myself in a 'girls gone wild' ad with another girl. So did my mom. FML
Today, my mom got drunk and tried to push me off a ladder. FML
Today, my mother and I got into a huge fight about me being a lesbian. It ended with me saying "Fuck you!" to which she responded: "I bet you'd probably like to." FML
Today, I had a show with my drama group. My mom isn't a good drunk, she decided to scream along to every song and pass out halfway through. She was in the front row. FML
Today, while my friends were over, my mom took too many of her pills and walked around the house nude. She then bit me. FML
Today, my mom got drunk and started crying, ranting about all the things she could have done in life if I hadn't been born. FML
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Top comments
Peroxide 3
That shit is BANANAS!
akiro525 3
who wouldn't?
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Comments (152)
brrrx 0
Wah, wah, wah. Who cares, exactly?
kellster 2
Who the **** cares? It's your mom, not you. And way to have a cool mom! Get over yourself!
jgars575 0
the only fml about this is if you were having friends over for a just a fun get together and your mom spent like THE ENTIRE night blasted and bugging you guys. telling your friends that she wants to bang gwen stefani is hardly worth an fml...
choppedNskrewed 0
dayyumm so would i!!
testing_fml 0
This is NOT an FML. It's a "who cares," which means YDI.
DangerousBabee 0
ohh this reminds me of a song.."IF I HAVE ONE MORE DRINK..IM GONNA END UP F*CKING YOOOOOOOO" ROFL xD Oh ya..Who cares.
DumbDinosaur 0
Haha... when my mom picked me up from the bus station for my first trip home from college, she told me that if she could, she'd totally marry Fergie. Here I go off to college and it's my mom who's thinking about experimenting.. :]
lmmmr 0
I don't understand why that statement is so popular. "If I had the opportunity, I would sleep with [insert name here]." The simple fact that you're reducing the person to such subjection guarantees that it would never happen. If I had the opportunity, I would grow wings and fly to never never land. Is that relevant?
alex_vik 1
Well, at least she confessed she was a lesbian now instead of before she married your dad.
mrsbickhart 0
LMFAO