Today, my mom had one too many and announced to all of my friends that, if she had the opportunity, she would bang Gwen Stefani. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mom told me I'm the reason she's going to kill herself one day. FML
Today, my mother lectured me about going to the bar too often. She did this while rolling a joint. FML
Today, I overheard my girlfriend telling her friend, "Actually, it's a good thing she died, she was quite a bitch." She was talking about my mother. FML
Today, my mom decided it was a good idea to remind me about my non-existent sex life while all the family was having dinner. FML
Today, I saw myself in a 'girls gone wild' ad with another girl. So did my mom. FML
Today, my mom got drunk and tried to push me off a ladder. FML
Today, my mother and I got into a huge fight about me being a lesbian. It ended with me saying "Fuck you!" to which she responded: "I bet you'd probably like to." FML
Today, I had a show with my drama group. My mom isn't a good drunk, she decided to scream along to every song and pass out halfway through. She was in the front row. FML
Today, while my friends were over, my mom took too many of her pills and walked around the house nude. She then bit me. FML
Today, my mom got drunk and started crying, ranting about all the things she could have done in life if I hadn't been born. FML
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Top comments
Peroxide 3
That shit is BANANAS!
akiro525 3
who wouldn't?
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Comments (152)
whyXD 13
I would too.
nonotme 0
I find it a sign of the poor character of a lot of the people on this site that "My friend/family member declared they would bang (insert member of the same gender)" FMLs are so prominant. How do your mom's sexual preferences ruin your life? Obviously they don't. Be more open minded OP, normally on FMLs that aren't actually FMLs I won't click anything but in this case YDI for being an idiot.
element01 0
Thats EFFin awesome. Sounds like u got a cool mother!!!
allstarplayer324 0
Um, gwen is HOT! This isn't an fml, I would probably do her as well.
ALphaOzcar 0
LMFAO! But not really an FML. If anything, FHL for having drunk lesbian tendencies.
Dogmaw 0
Your mom fully rocks. Learn to appreciate her.
resawins 0
how random is it that "spiderwebs" by no doubt was playing on my radio at the exact moment that i read this fml??!! hahaha. your mom sounds pretty fun :-)
mattmag 0
that shit is bananas.
jmeg_fml 0
#52 hahaha i'd say your mom has pretty good taste.
kukopia 0
Simply, completely NOT a FML. Not even a FHL. You're a self-centered douche. Moving on.
Holybatman 16
#53: WTF?! You kind of sound like a "self-centered douche", and you give no explanation for your comment. My mom doesn't get drunk very often (she normally drinks in moderation), but she's never expressed any lesbian urges, drunk or otherwise. If this ever happened to me, I would have to endure months of bad jokes about my mom. This is totally an FML, specifically because it was in front of the OP's friends. Although I admit most people probably would do Gwen Stefani if they had the opportunity.
bosco_kk 0
I guess you couldn't escape, you should create a place in your own world, without your mom banging Gwen.
tpike1296 11
The sweet escape!!!!! LOL