Today, I found out that I can only sing well when I'm absolutely certain that no one can hear me. On the rare occasion that people can actually hear me, they always say I "sound just like Elvis." Unfortunately, when I try to sing in front of other people, I sound more like a teenage boy who just started puberty. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my roommate eavesdropped on me singing. When I realized he was there, he said I was "fucking incredible" and asked me to do another song. There's just one issue: I only sing well when I'm alone. The result was predictably bad. If it was possible to literally die of embarrassment, I wouldn't be writing this. FML
Today, my father told me to stop purposely singing out of tune because it was annoying. I wasn't doing it on purpose; it's my real voice. FML
Today, I tried singing in front of my friend. She said, "That's a hilarious voice! You should use that voice when telling jokes!" FML
Today, I worked up the courage to sing at an open mic night. I lost my cool halfway through because all I could hear was laughter. FML
Today, I was giving a presentation when my voice cracked like a teenage boy going through puberty. The audience giggled every time it happened. FML
Today, I went to see one of my favorite bands. When they started playing my favorite song I whipped out my video camera and sang along. As I was reviewing the video later, I realized that I couldn't even hear the band over my horrible singing. FML
Today, to help me get over my crippling social anxiety, my therapist encouraged me to sing in front of a crowd, since I actually have a fine singing voice. I ended up fainting onstage, mid-song. FML
Today, I was practicing for a choir concert that I have next week. My mom walked into my room and listened to me for a little while. After I finished the last song, she smiled, patted me on the head and said, "It's okay honey, I can't sing either." FML
Today, our school had tryouts for chorus. Everybody sang a snippet of the song together until the teacher stopped us, saying it sounded awful. He singled me out and told me to sing alone. After I sang the part, he said, "Son, your gift to God will be silence." FML
Today, I found out I have a bad singing voice. How? The choir judge decided to yell "STOP! Please just stop!" During my solo. In front of everyone. During the show. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
In front of people you get "All Shook Up" and sound like a "Hound Dog" "In The Ghetto" at "Heartbreak Hotel."
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Comments (1)
RichardPencil 32
In front of people you get "All Shook Up" and sound like a "Hound Dog" "In The Ghetto" at "Heartbreak Hotel."