Today, my mom came in to hug me while I was sleeping, or so I thought. I woke up and tried to hug her back, only to find she had wrapped a tape measure around me. She was trying to measure my bust size to win a bet. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mom decided to try her new taser on me while I was asleep on the couch. FML
Today, I had a dream that my mom hugged me and told me she loved me. I woke up to her banging on my door, barging into my room, inspecting it, and then telling me to “just fucking kill yourself, because you're genuinely a bad person” before slamming my door. My room was perfectly clean and tidy. FML
Today, my mom had me arrested in the most humiliating way ever, in my nightgown, with no bra. She pushed me out her vagina, and now her life. FML
Today, while I was in the shower, my very drunken mother came home. She then barged into the shower with me, still completely clothed, and gave me the longest, most awkward hug of a lifetime. After she left me still in shock, she came back and did it again. FML
Today, my mom and I rented a hotel room. She decided to go to bed, while I watched MythBusters. Apparently, my mom got hot while she slept. She threw the covers off of herself and pulled up her night-gown. I turned to find out that my mother does not wear underwear when she sleeps. FML
Today, I woke up to somebody shaking my shoulder. I had slept over at a friend's house, so I assumed my friend was just fooling around. With my head under the pillow, I swung my hand at his face then gave him the finger. Turns out, my friend left for basketball and I had slept in. It was his mom. FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of scissors. My mom was cutting my hair while I was asleep. FML
Today, I woke up only to find my half-naked drunk mother in my living room, talking in her sleep about how much she hates me. She still doesn't see what's wrong with this picture. FML
Today, my mother showed up to pick something up from my house. I was sleeping and before I knew it she was in my bedroom, jumping on my bed, saying hi to my ex-girlfriend who she thought was with me. It wasn't my ex, and I doubt that girl will ever want to hang out again after that awkward morning. FML
Today, I found out my mom sleeps in my room when I'm at college during the week. I discovered this my bumping into her dildo with my foot. FML
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Top comments
Glowworm56 27
Sounds like mom just got busted!
Druu 53
We're waiting..
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Comments (25)
Kierre Smith 3
Who did she bet that she would be willing to give that info to?!!
Mason Pencil 4
It says op is a guy...
Tsumetai_ 11
while it says the op is a guy it could still be a girl since I've heard the gender markers on stories are glitched/buggy and don't always work. the op could've chosen female only for the site to show it as the opposite. I've seen it happen in several fml's where the op commented something like 'i don't know why it shows up as a guy when i'm a girl' and vice versa.
MysteryOwl 1
wow I would be like mom what are you doing