Today, I woke up to somebody shaking my shoulder. I had slept over at a friend's house, so I assumed my friend was just fooling around. With my head under the pillow, I swung my hand at his face then gave him the finger. Turns out, my friend left for basketball and I had slept in. It was his mom. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was in minding my own business in bed in my dorm room. It was dark and my roommate came over, intending to slap my ass really hard. The problem is, I was lying face up. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I took a nap on my couch. She used my arm as a pillow, and everything was pretty peaceful, until she moved over and practically dislocated my shoulder. My screams of pain woke her, which was apparently an "asshole move" on my part. FML
Today, I woke up from a nap and thought I felt somebody's arm in my bed. I frantically start hitting it and start screaming. I soon realized it was my own arm. I'd fallen asleep on it, and it was completely numb, I couldn't feel a thing. FML
Today, I woke up to a stranger in my bed. Just as my parents responded to my screaming, I remembered that I'd helped my boyfriend sneak in through my window last night. FML
Today, my alarm went off at 6:30am. I woke up disorientated, as usual. I looked up and saw a dark, mysterious figure entering my room. Still half asleep, I screamed and dived under my covers. The dark, mysterious figure was my mom. I'm a 21 year-old guy. FML
Today, I tried to put my friend's hand in lukewarm water while he was sleeping, to see if he'd pee himself. He woke up and punched me in the face. FML
Today, my mother showed up to pick something up from my house. I was sleeping and before I knew it she was in my bedroom, jumping on my bed, saying hi to my ex-girlfriend who she thought was with me. It wasn't my ex, and I doubt that girl will ever want to hang out again after that awkward morning. FML
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. Groggy and disoriented, I bumped into several pieces of furniture and made a lot of noise. My dad woke up, mistook me for a burglar, and knocked me out with his fist. FML
Today, I woke up in my friend's living room after our sleepover. I heard her hot older brother and his friends in the kitchen. Feeling confident, I exposed my midriff a little bit just to give them a peek. They groaned and threw a blanket over me. FML
Today, I slept over at a friend's house. We decided to dress up as ninjas and play a trick on her younger brothers, sleeping in the basement. While sneaking down the stairs, in the dark, her mother came home. Thinking I was a robber, she beat me with a lamp. FML
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Top comments
aire101 16
I wouldn't feel too bad about it... its a lot of people's first feeling when waking up. They just may not express it so colorfully... Hopefully his mom had a sense of humor about it!
cakefete2 31
Hopefully, mom has quick reflexes and a good sense of humor.
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Comments (56)
booknerd269 4
That must suck dude
wcc7777777 5
Ya #1, i feel you. If only there was a voting option for this? WHY FML?!? WHY?!?
J3R3MYY 14
Ya it does suck, OP had a chance with his friends mom and basically threw that option away.
ThatOneGuy719 16
Maybe your friend was trying to be nice and let you sleep in?
GirlGamer12345 22
You need to read this again
ElementaryEdGuy 18
"Wake up!" "What?" "You can sleep in as long as you want today." ...what?
thxnder 14
I think #2 means that the friend was trying to be nice by not waking OP up and leaving his mother to do it while he was at basketball.
ThatOneGuy719 16
That's what I meant haha, probably should have specified
thxnder 14
I understood what you meant. :)
aire101 16
I wouldn't feel too bad about it... its a lot of people's first feeling when waking up. They just may not express it so colorfully... Hopefully his mom had a sense of humor about it!
SpamPam 18
I don't think slapping someone is a good response. Maybe a "leave me alone" instead at least...
cakefete2 31
Hopefully, mom has quick reflexes and a good sense of humor.
VonBlitzkrieg 27
We won't know until there's a follow-up.
Crofty92 17
Thank you, VonObvious.
kayydb7 14
I'm sure his mom will understand it was nothing personal against her.
ktmla 14
Your friend was shooting hoops while you were shooting birds...
Jayy_Dash23 9
or catching Z's?
dakid87 10
apologize to the mother and also the friend. I'm sure they will understand
GirlGamer12345 22
"Hey buddy I'm sorry for giving the finger to your mom. I thought it was you" I'm not sure how that would benefit snyone
woainishamu 21
For a moment there, I read it as sorry for fingering your mom. Woops ;)
steeledwolf 8
My Old man told me I once cursed and tried to hit him when he woke me up. I did not remember doing so. Strange.
sunnysideup25 7
Ouch. Well.... What if your friend was stiffler?
EpicGuy70 13
That sucks, maybe she will laugh it off with you?