Today, my pug farted so much that I thought there was an actual gas leak. I kept checking the oven and making sure our C02 detector had batteries before I heard a squeaky fart come from my dog. Don't get a pug. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my nearly ex-husband called in a panic so I could come rescue the dogs, because he'd called 911 due to a gas leak at the house. I came over, after which the fire department and gas company took a look, and they found the issue. The dog. The dog had farted so bad, it smelled like rotten eggs, and was mistaken for a gas leak. FML
Today, I was cleaning out the cabinets under my kitchen sink and I farted with such force that my dog thought someone was knocking at the door. FML
Today, my dog farted so loud in his sleep that he scared himself and woke up barking. This afternoon I achieved the same feat. FML
Today, I was talking to a cute guy at my house party and had to fart. Luckily, it was silent. Unluckily, he smelled it, thought my house had a gas leak, and ran to the basement to check the pipes and ensure our safety. FML
Today, my dog farted. Immediately, he turned around to sniff his stink then furiously licked his butthole. He then licked my nose. FML
Today, I found dog poop in my room that had probably been there for days. My girlfriend, who was watching the house, said she didn't realize it was there, because she thought it was the smell of her own farts. FML
Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. I had to fart really badly, so thinking that he wouldn't hear me, I did so. He heard me and asked, "Did you fart?" I said "No, it was my dog." I don't have a dog, and he knows this. FML
Today, I was having a horrible day. I was laying on the couch, crying, when my dog came up on the couch to console me. I was thinking about how great it was to have a dog, because they're there for you when no one else is. As I was sobbing, I heard something. My dog farted into my mouth. Twice. FML
Today, my dog took a dump beside the air intake for our furnace. The house now smells like dog crap. FML
Today, I was trying to cook a pizza for lunch at my in-laws. I preheated the oven and took my dog out to go potty. I come back in to find the house filled with smoke, the detector going off, and a fire in the oven. Apparently, my mother-in-law left a tray of glass candle holders in it. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
TwoBytesCarley 27
Change his food. My dog was farting so badly that I vomited until I switched her from tripe to salmon. All that gas isn’t fun for your pug either!
tiptoppc 21
Wait until it sneezes and it’s eyeballs fall out of its socket. I wouldn’t get a pug just based on that. It’s cruel that breed was created
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (2)
TwoBytesCarley 27
Change his food. My dog was farting so badly that I vomited until I switched her from tripe to salmon. All that gas isn’t fun for your pug either!
tiptoppc 21
Wait until it sneezes and it’s eyeballs fall out of its socket. I wouldn’t get a pug just based on that. It’s cruel that breed was created