Today, I was expecting a package from Amazon, so when the doorbell rang I rushed out in my pajamas. It wasn't the delivery guy. It was my ex and her new boyfriend, here to drop off some of my old stuff. I'd answered the door wearing an anime onesie. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got a notification that a package had been delivered. I opened my door and saw it on at doorstep. I was expecting one, so I grabbed and opened it, then realized it wasn’t mine, but my neighbor’s. I had to awkwardly re-tape it, then sneak over and leave the disturbing contents of the box on their porch before they noticed. FML
Today, I went to my ex-girlfriend's house to bring her her stuff back. We broke up earlier this week after a two year relationship, and I'd hoped she would've realized her mistake and ask me to stay for a bit and talk. I rang the doorbell and her new boyfriend opened the door. FML
Today, I decided to surprise my girlfriend by showing up at her place with flowers and dinner. She opened the door wearing pajamas… and standing next to her was another guy wearing the same pajamas. They both looked at me like I was the intruder. FML
Today, I was home alone. I didn't expect anyone to be anywhere near home, so when I got out of the shower, I walked to the living room, naked, to get the tv remote for my room. Only to find the UPS guy standing at our glass front door. I screamed... so did he. FML
Today, I was home alone when the doorbell rang. I panicked and hid under the table because I wasn’t expecting anyone and I have minor social anxiety. It was just Amazon dropping off a package. I made eye contact with the delivery guy through the window. FML
Today, while delivering an Amazon package, I arrived to this one house where the man was outside, so I just handed it to him. As he was reaching for it, his robe popped open. Twice. He was wearing nothing but the robe, and he was your typical fat, hairy, 40-year-old man. My poor eyes. FML
Today, I was home alone and decided to try on my Halloween costume, a giant inflatable dinosaur suit. As I was prancing around the living room, my doorbell rang. Without thinking, I answered it. It was the mailman with a package. The look on his face as he handed a T-rex a box was priceless, but now he probably thinks I’m nuts. FML
Today, my package with two brand new toys got delivered to the wrong apartment. Somewhere in this apartment complex, a stranger is either judging me or having the best day of their life. FML
Today, my boyfriend came round to drop off some underwear, which I'd left at his house. Not all of what he brought was mine. FML
Today, I was told by Amazon that a belt I had ordered was arriving. I grabbed an Amazon package out of the mailbox without even checking who the package was addressed to. I now have an awkward apology ahead of me for opening my stepbrother's box of condoms. FML
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Top comments
Crowned Sataness 12
if you're running around in an anime onesie, you're her loss! find your people, because there's lots of us that would absolutely love that -a grown woman who wears onesie jammies
BurnInDemonFire 39
I got the impression OP is a dude. "My ex and her new boyfriend". Yeah they could be bi/pan/whatever, but my logic circuits say "guy".
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Comments (3)
JackWood 21
I see why you're an ex. js
UniUni 20
And I can bet my left tit you're single
Crowned Sataness 12
if you're running around in an anime onesie, you're her loss! find your people, because there's lots of us that would absolutely love that -a grown woman who wears onesie jammies
BurnInDemonFire 39
I got the impression OP is a dude. "My ex and her new boyfriend". Yeah they could be bi/pan/whatever, but my logic circuits say "guy".
BurnInDemonFire 39
"I am here! With a sense of embarrassment at meeting your new boyfriend like this."