Today, my husband was getting undressed. I told my 2-year-old daughter not to go in our bedroom because he was undressing in there. I turned my back and she instantly ran off to my bedroom. I heard her shout "I can see daddy's tail!" Now, she points to everyone's crotch and shouts "TAIL!" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my 3-year-old girl accidentally caught sight of me stepping out of the shower. Now she thinks "daddy has a tail" and she just has to let everyone know about it. FML
Today, I went to the store with my 4-year-old daughter. While I was trying to change into tight jeans, which weren't completely on, my daughter opened the curtain and yelled, "It's the Mommy Show!" Everyone there heard her and saw me. FML
Today, while we had my husband's boss over, my 3-year-old son decided to burst into the living room naked and yell, "Mum, look! Penis!" and wiggle it around. FML
Today, I was at the grocery with my 4 year-old daughter. She needed me to tie one of her shoes so I bent down. When I was done, I tickled her under the armpit, and she screamed, "Don't touch me there!" Everyone in the store turned to stare. FML
Today, during dinner with my wife's family, my daughter suddenly yelled, "DADDY TICKLES MOMMY'S BUM BUM!" I don't think I've ever received dirtier glares in my life. FML
Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML
Today, I went clothes shopping. I took my little daughter into the dressing room while I tried some clothes on. She somehow managed to open the door while I was changing. A lady outside then bitched me out for "exposing" myself to her kids. FML
Today, I woke up to my daughter crying, and my son running through the living room completely naked with her bottle, laughing his head off. FML
Today, my 2-year-old daughter overheard my wife and I arguing and fixated on one particular insult my wife threw at me. Now my daughter won't stop saying "Daddy a numbnuts", always with a big smile on her face. FML
Today, when I came home, my daughter's baby-sitter was busy smelling my thongs. FML
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Top comments
Peachy2392 26
Shouting "tail" isn't the worst thing she could say.
igive 29
And when she's fourteen, this will serve as an embarassing story.
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Comments (154)
sanecatlady 13
She's two. When you tell children not to do something, especially by starting your sentence with "don't", they will automatically picture doing it in their head and want to do it even more. It's a weird trick our brains play on us even as adults. For example: Don't think of a house. Ha, you did. :p
AsianBomb_xo 10
lol now, that's traumatizing..
Erery 16
when she's older this will be her FML
FemskyD 26
As long as she doesnt start naming tales different It should be alright : )
vandeele 8
Hahahahahahaha!!!! That isn't even FML..That's just HILARIOUS!
Whydoucare24 8
So your husband should have locked the door the whole situation should have been avoided
sthrnbell 9
Why didn't you shut the door behind you?
gunnerjake 1
Why can't a 2 year old see dad change?
theMISSFOXX 10
I did this as a child I always loved being ornery.
stonehare 7
buahahhahahahahahaaaaaa!