Today, my husband was getting undressed. I told my 2-year-old daughter not to go in our bedroom because he was undressing in there. I turned my back and she instantly ran off to my bedroom. I heard her shout "I can see daddy's tail!" Now, she points to everyone's crotch and shouts "TAIL!" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my 3-year-old girl accidentally caught sight of me stepping out of the shower. Now she thinks "daddy has a tail" and she just has to let everyone know about it. FML
Today, I went to the store with my 4-year-old daughter. While I was trying to change into tight jeans, which weren't completely on, my daughter opened the curtain and yelled, "It's the Mommy Show!" Everyone there heard her and saw me. FML
Today, while we had my husband's boss over, my 3-year-old son decided to burst into the living room naked and yell, "Mum, look! Penis!" and wiggle it around. FML
Today, I was at the grocery with my 4 year-old daughter. She needed me to tie one of her shoes so I bent down. When I was done, I tickled her under the armpit, and she screamed, "Don't touch me there!" Everyone in the store turned to stare. FML
Today, during dinner with my wife's family, my daughter suddenly yelled, "DADDY TICKLES MOMMY'S BUM BUM!" I don't think I've ever received dirtier glares in my life. FML
Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML
Today, I went clothes shopping. I took my little daughter into the dressing room while I tried some clothes on. She somehow managed to open the door while I was changing. A lady outside then bitched me out for "exposing" myself to her kids. FML
Today, I woke up to my daughter crying, and my son running through the living room completely naked with her bottle, laughing his head off. FML
Today, my 2-year-old daughter overheard my wife and I arguing and fixated on one particular insult my wife threw at me. Now my daughter won't stop saying "Daddy a numbnuts", always with a big smile on her face. FML
Today, when I came home, my daughter's baby-sitter was busy smelling my thongs. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Peachy2392 26
Shouting "tail" isn't the worst thing she could say.
igive 29
And when she's fourteen, this will serve as an embarassing story.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (154)
blackychan63 12
To all of those freaking out about this incident, stop. she's TWO. Still in diapers. she'll forget about it next week.
ViviMage 40
Well, penis does come from the Latin word for "tail"....
band_geek 18
Hey, at least she's a little kid. This will serve as a funny story for all her friends (possibly even her future boyfriends that you may not want her to see if the day(s) ever do come) when she gets into high school while serving as an embarrasing one for her.
cryssycakesx3 23
I'm sure her daughter will have a boyfriend...
adowd687 3
Jogu
DarkKnight_1960 5
If guys have "tails" what do girls have?
cryssycakesx3 23
when I was about 4-5, I had stuck my hand in the pocket of my mom's boyfriends pants to feel his "roll of quarters."
AntiPrude 26
Not the kind of quarters you were looking to put in the slot machine..
cryssycakesx3 23
that was perfect.
Maycontainnuts 17
Well that kid's scarred for life!
AntiPrude 26
She wants the T
havok87 11
It's called a lock. Invest in one.
sexual_girl 15
Ah children... always doing the exact opposite of what you tell them. But honestly she will forget about it in a few years. And if she doesn't, oh well. Just chalk it up to her being a typical two year old. Could've been a lot worse