Today, my husband was getting undressed. I told my 2-year-old daughter not to go in our bedroom because he was undressing in there. I turned my back and she instantly ran off to my bedroom. I heard her shout "I can see daddy's tail!" Now, she points to everyone's crotch and shouts "TAIL!" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my 3-year-old girl accidentally caught sight of me stepping out of the shower. Now she thinks "daddy has a tail" and she just has to let everyone know about it. FML
Today, I went to the store with my 4-year-old daughter. While I was trying to change into tight jeans, which weren't completely on, my daughter opened the curtain and yelled, "It's the Mommy Show!" Everyone there heard her and saw me. FML
Today, while we had my husband's boss over, my 3-year-old son decided to burst into the living room naked and yell, "Mum, look! Penis!" and wiggle it around. FML
Today, I was at the grocery with my 4 year-old daughter. She needed me to tie one of her shoes so I bent down. When I was done, I tickled her under the armpit, and she screamed, "Don't touch me there!" Everyone in the store turned to stare. FML
Today, during dinner with my wife's family, my daughter suddenly yelled, "DADDY TICKLES MOMMY'S BUM BUM!" I don't think I've ever received dirtier glares in my life. FML
Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML
Today, I went clothes shopping. I took my little daughter into the dressing room while I tried some clothes on. She somehow managed to open the door while I was changing. A lady outside then bitched me out for "exposing" myself to her kids. FML
Today, I woke up to my daughter crying, and my son running through the living room completely naked with her bottle, laughing his head off. FML
Today, my 2-year-old daughter overheard my wife and I arguing and fixated on one particular insult my wife threw at me. Now my daughter won't stop saying "Daddy a numbnuts", always with a big smile on her face. FML
Today, when I came home, my daughter's baby-sitter was busy smelling my thongs. FML
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Top comments
Peachy2392 26
Shouting "tail" isn't the worst thing she could say.
igive 29
And when she's fourteen, this will serve as an embarassing story.
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Comments (154)
Nightheated 8
Fly
xxsadie03xx 7
Maybe you should close the door next time??
KorinoTsubasa23 9
Children. Haha! My four year old calls her daddy's man parts a waggy tail. Thankfully she hasn't ran around yelling it at people. Don't worry, your daughter will grow out of it. :)
simply_in_love 9
Tell me when she asks you where her tail is
polkadotty4 7
That would be funny to most people.
AquaBaby 11
There's a reason they call it the terrible two's...
wingL 11
I find this quite cute ....
natywantspeace 7
dyi for not explaining better
xxxkassixxx 8
Tail that's so innocent ^_^
kiaora_fml 11
My 3 yr old a few months back, ran into our room to use the en-suite toilet as my eldest was using the main, what she didnt realise was daddy was in here using it and she ran out and said "daddy showed me his penis!" he forgot to lock as they don't really use that loo and I had to inform the daycare, so embarrassing. At one stage they will catch you naked, just got to think quickly LOL