Today, a coworker informed me that she thinks I may be descended from a race of goblins, because of my squat stature, ugly face and hairy arms. She was being completely serious. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a coworker told me I was "fat shaming" them by discussing weight loss with other coworkers. FML
Today, my coworker asked me to add her on Facebook. She has a common name, so I picked the one I thought was her. After no response for a while, I asked for the right spelling. She saw the one I thought was her and said, “I can’t believe you thought I was that ugly.” She wasn't joking. FML
Today, I decided to come out to a co-worker. She looked at me, then laughed, and said, "You can't be gay, you're fat!" FML
Today, at work, I was making an appointment for an old lady who told me, "You look like a movie star!" I started to thank her when she followed up with, "Like that girl from the horror movie! Your black hair and pale skin makes you look scary! Oh, sorry…" with the coworker I hate the most sitting right next to me. FML
Today, I met my coworker's kids during a cookout. I joked to her eldest son that he was awfully short for a seventeen-year-old. He responded, "Well, you're awfully ugly for the town slut." Everyone laughed, including my boss. FML
Today, after weeks of everyone at work avoiding me, I finally asked my coworker what was up. She informed me, “You’re 350lbs and try to dress like an office siren, it’s pathetic to look at.” FML
Today, I confided to my boyfriend that I have a condition that causes me to grow thick toe hair. He now won't stop calling me "the sexy Hobbit." FML
Today, the 6 year old girl I was babysitting asked me, "Why are you so ugly? Are you an alien? Because aliens are about as ugly as you are." FML
Today, at work, a weird old woman came up to me and told me that it's okay: being ugly isn't a choice, it's nothing to be ashamed of, and that it's what inside that counts. She then hugged me and walked away. FML
Today, an overweight coworker of mine was saying that her favorite mythical creatures was Mermaids, because she considers them graceful, carefree and aesthetically beautiful, like her. I absentmindedly blurted out, “Not with that body.” The word “Sorry” didn’t cut it for the write up I received. FML
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Top comments
Sunako_fml 9
Tell her that you think she descended from a race of bitches.
Levvy 22
Here's how to know for sure: Do people get experience points for hitting you?
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Comments (147)
xxDefiantxx 0
Haters gonna hate....IMO goblins are pretty badass
eeppiicc 8
Now you have an excuse to be trolling
_Oblivion_ 12
What would she be? Harry Potter?
rsunshine2020 13
Tell her you also have special supernatural goblin powers... See how she reacts to that.
lonkite101 14
Tell her that you eat women for lunch, and she would taste great.
smartpop 2
Pictures please and let the Internet decide!
Dylan94_fml 8
OP - "You're right about that, fortunately I'll always have plastic surgery as a back-up should I ever feel that I need it. You however, will always be a snooty judgmental asshole." And then walk away flawlessly like the bad bitch that you are OP.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
15) "They see me trollin' They hatin' Moderatin' Tryna catch me trollin', Derpy!" Okay, I'll shut up.
sens3sfailing 25
Please don't! That was awesome! I'm a metal head and got that right away and it made my day!!
tjv3 10
Dwarfs kick gobblin ass in their sleep
missmurderx 8
She sounds lovely.
lonkite101 14
No, she sounds like a hypocrite :D
saintsrocksocks 10
I was going through everyone's profile because I'm stalkeryishgasm like that and you said you were a wall flower. I have an audiogasm whenever I here that band. Rock on.
sens3sfailing 25
Omg I love your taste in music! Look up Memphis may fire. You might like them too! But adtr...just pure win!
missmurderx 8
Thank you both! Memphis May Fire is pretty good, I saw them at Warped Tour. :)
efemel94 7
I only listen to post-folk bluesgrass. Everything else is too mainstream.
Gringe 1
I only listen to sounds of the rainforest. I dont conform to your artificial "music"
missmurderx 8
132: Hahahah, I like really underground musicians like Mozart. You've probably never heard of him..
mal2012 4
....... Thats just Rude.
lonkite101 14
Really?
mal2012 4
The "really" wasnt necessary.... I was saying that in a way like i was speechless with nothing else to say. Take ur smart comments elsewhere n all those who liked it. Sheesh.
swankmrpancake 8
I think the really was more necessary then your original comment
saintsrocksocks 10
41- Wasn't I Your And.
saintsrocksocks 10
3- you seriously don't have to post the obvious.
swankmrpancake 8
It was a "let's put the first thing I can think of so I'm near the top" kind of post
saintsrocksocks 10
Exactly what I was thinking. As ManInTheMachine said, don't have a firstgasm.
DocBastard 40
Mal2012 - If you're speechless and have nothing to say, why not just say nothing? saintsrocksocks - I do believe you meant "you're" rather than "your". If you don't understand grammar, please leave it to the professional Grammar Nazis. This message has been brought to you by the Association of Professional Grammar Nazis.
mhopper 13
Actually Doc, "take YOUR smart comments..." was correct.
saintsrocksocks 10
Doc I don't mean to correct you but while I was correcting Mal, your is the right term.
saintsrocksocks 10
If it was you're she'd be saying take you are smart comments elsewhere. Sorry doc. But you were wrong.
DocBastard 40
HOLY ****. I don't know what the hell I was reading, but I totally screwed the pooch on that one. My sincerest apologies. Feel free not to be nice to me when I totally **** up like that. Give me hell just like you would give anyone else hell, especially if I "correct" someone incorrectly. I deserve no less for that gaffe. Ugh.
saintsrocksocks 10
Doc it's alright. You are human and we all make mistakes. There is no need to apologize for such a small thing.
saintsrocksocks 10
Doc of you would of commented iv u dun undrstnd gramar plz leve it too teh pofesional gramar natzis, I would give you hell, but your mind does not think at that sort of level.
Colonel_Lexi 18
72-I bet if someone else made that mistake you'd rip them a new one.
saintsrocksocks 10
77, Doc never makes errors and it surprised me. I correct the people that either don't know how to spell, or are too lazy to spell. Please get your facts straight and try not to make up stuff.
RussianFox 13
72-Talk about kissing up and brown nosing.
_Oblivion_ 12
Wait can this be? Doc made a mistake? Holy shi- *sliced by sergical scalpal*
DocBastard 40
surgical* I AM REDEEMED!
mhopper 13
You forgot *scalpel!!! The Association of Professional Grammar Nazis is ashamed!
lonkite101 14
Saintrocksrocks please stop commenting
DocBastard 40
mhopper - I can only correct one thing at a time. I was waiting for someone else to get that. Thanks. *looks around sheepishly*
clairelolz 5
sassy with the capital R
mal2012 4
Lol!
Levvy 22
Here's how to know for sure: Do people get experience points for hitting you?
lemonmilk 8
This comment has so much win
hockeyoceancity 13
Who trains on goblins? Such low experience points... Upgrade to guards or dragons!
TzHaar_Joh_Zuhai 4
I prefer PKing other people and those giant spiders... Very good xp!
saIty 17
Biotch I'm just more evolved then you.
NOOBSQUAD 0
If your were more evolved don't you think she would be like a godsss like being, instead of a disgusting humanoid?
saIty 17
No, I'd think I'd be a dragon.
saintsrocksocks 10
I think I'd be a narwhal.
redreynard 14
I think I'd be a gelatinous cube.
winfieldALJD 6
I think I'd be doing your mom.
saintsrocksocks 10
By doing my mom, you'd be a more evolved creature. Wow.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
6) when I saw your comment with the words "more evolved", I wanted to make a magicarp joke, but I can't fit one it there. :(
Sunako_fml 9
Tell her that you think she descended from a race of bitches.
lonkite101 14
Watch her say she did.
MelTheGreat 23
You got it from your mama.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Great. Now that song will be stuck in my head.
DracoSpirita 21
Well, tell her she must be an Orc then. ;)
hockeyoceancity 13
She's a troll.
DocBastard 40
She must be completely bat-shit crazy! How the hell can you be a goblin? Goblins are fictitious, imaginary, mythical creatures! What the **** was she thinking? You're clearly an Ewok.
saintsrocksocks 10
How could she mix up the two?! Ewoks are beautiful majestic creatures. I mean, goblins aren't even real!
SqueakyChipmunk 22
"I think you descended from a race of goblins." "Bitch, get the **** from under my bridge."
silverstream20 20
This comment made my day.
Dsantiag 1
I love you. Lmao!!!!
sherlock65 2
You sir, have just made my day