Today, my husband taught our son how to pee while standing. His aim is as poor as my husband's, but I guess now they can blame their mess on each other. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out my husband potty trained my stubborn three year-old son who prefers diapers. He managed this by peeing with him and "sword-fighting" with their urine streams. I now have to clean pee off the ground every time he urinates. FML
Today, I finally got my 14-year-old son to aim while using the bathroom. If only I could get my husband to do the same. FML
Today, my husband was changing our son’s overflowing diaper. Instead of getting up and walking the putrid mess to the bin, he decided to shoot it basketball-style. He missed and it hit the wall, sliding down leaving a huge sloppy streak. He expected me to clean it. FML
Today, I found out the guys I live with have an ongoing contest to see if they can hit targets on the inside of the toilet lid with urine when they pee. I could forgive this in my seven-year-old son, but not my forty-year-old husband. FML
Today, my son learned how to use the toilet for the first time. He was so excited he started peeing on the floor. FML
Today, I went to the bathroom after my 9 year-old nephew. Apparently nobody taught him to lift the seat when he pees, or how to aim properly, because when I sat down, I sat in his pee. FML
Today, my is still peeing on the toilet seat and floor. When will it get better? My son is 18 years-old and apparently can’t aim in the toilet. I had to sit on the pee he left on the toilet seat the other day. FML
Today, my boyfriend called me into the bathroom and proudly showed me how far back he could stand from the toilet while he peed. Unfortunately, he got distracted and peed all over the floor I had mopped just an hour before. FML
Today, I came home to find my husband and our 4-year-old son simultaneously peeing off the second-floor balcony. My husband was giggling like a little girl. FML
Today, I berated my five-year-old nephew for peeing on the floor. His mom bitched me out for expecting "a little boy to have perfect aim." That's funny, it looked pretty good when he dropped his pants, looked me in the eyes, and started to piss on my rug. FML
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Top comments
mariamilian 20
try not to get too pissed off about it
Tejanoswhy 19
Make them clean up their own messes together
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Comments (59)
diagnosed 15
when I was helping my brother potty train both of my nephews, we use Cheerios for them to try to hit with their pee. A little target practice can help improve aim dramatically. Just a little helpful advice maybe your husband can use it to
FSGInsainity 15
And absolute skill if the cover is still on.
GreenShoes 14
bright fruit loops to "sink the warships" or plain handsoap (big bottles are like 4 bucks at Wal-Mart for their brand) with added food coloring to make bright bubbles lol.
local77 6
go get an urinal into your private bathroom(s). this solves the problems quiet good ;o)
revolvearoundme 15
Should get the urinal in the most commonly used bathroom for all men to use. I still haven't really figured out why this isn't a standard practice. Women hate us peeing in the toilet standing up and men would love a urinal in the bathroom. Sounds like a win win situation.
quackImapenguin 16
Because it's a huge unnecessary expense (not just the urinal itself but also arranging the plumbing to accommodate), another bathroom fixture to clean, and it takes up lots of space. Why can't men just pee sitting down? Afraid your precious masculinity will break?
tomvertigo 17
Sounds like your husband is a lazy prick. We all make a mess from time to time. Clean it up like a grown assed adult, man!
BuckNekkid 22
Hello, it's a penis, not a sniper rifle
middlenamefrank 8
Do you women think there's some sort of targeting device on that thing? There's not! It's not as easy to hit the bowl as you women are always implying it should be.
samlovesham1234 9
Are you kidding me? I'm a woman who knows how to pee standing up(even through the zipper on my pants), and has better aim than most guys despite not having much to work with. How hard is it to just stand over the toilet, point the thing downward, and pee? Seriously.
DevilsShadow 5
How hard can it be to actually pee INTO the toilet?
samlovesham1234 9
Exactly.
kkalczewski23 1
But, I thought it was normal to pee standing up?
loueasy 23
That's some pretty piss poor aim